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#364117 - 06/13/11 08:04 PM What is Healthy Sexuality?
Letourski Offline

Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
Hello Gents,

I have been conducting a moral inventory as of late. I have finally decided to wage war on my addiction to pornography. I have been using pornography since the age of 8 years old (forced on me as part of the abuse). I know this will be a difficult addiction to overcome, but I am certain that I can win this war.

Some interesting issues have come up recently. I have only ever masturbated to pornography or the thought of those images in my mind. As a result, I have formed some unhealthy views of sex and sexuality.

As continue to work on my pornography addiction, I am becoming more aware of all the beliefs I have been reinforcing over the years.

1. I have been objectifying people (especially women).
2. I place far too much emphasis on sex in a relationship.
3. I take sex out of context (intimacy and love does not equal sex).
4. I lack any sort of sexual awareness (my own body).

All of this has shattered my idea of healthy sexuality. All I have ever known is masturbation to pornographic images. I am not sure what I am supposed to think about when I mastubate. I don't know what healthy masturbation is. I cannot for the life of me define healthy sexuality. I am not sure where to start.

Thanks for listening.



Edited by Letourski (06/13/11 08:06 PM)
I am the warrior.

#364134 - 06/13/11 11:14 PM Re: What is Healthy Sexuality? [Re: Letourski]
G5 Offline

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 204
Loc: New Jersey
I'm with you here. I have similar confusions and I'm focusing on the intimacy end. What is it? What kinds of intimacy are there? And intimacy doesn't always mean sex, or things of a sexual nature.

Similar experiences with porn as it was introduced to me as well and used to break the 'ice' you might say..

I haven't allowed myself contact sexually with another for over ten years has filled the gaps and distorted my view and understanding of women and relations....

Sigh...but I'm working on it with my T....slowly, as it is so personal and shameful


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#364149 - 06/14/11 07:38 AM Re: What is Healthy Sexuality? [Re: G5]
philistine Offline

Registered: 04/27/09
Posts: 211
Loc: Oregon
Be nice to yourself.
This is not a war, it is healing.

You are trying to change a fairly basic part of your life, it is not easy.

Edited by philistine (06/14/11 07:39 AM)
Edit Reason: completing post

"No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" - Nietzsche

#364169 - 06/14/11 10:51 AM Re: What is Healthy Sexuality? [Re: philistine]
Letourski Offline

Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
Hey G5,

Rewiring our brain circuitry takes a considerable amount of work. It will be a long journey, but one I am comfortable taking.


You are right, it's a process. I often forget to be nice to myself. I think that lasting change will begin with forgiving myself. Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate it.



I am the warrior.


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