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#364115 - 06/13/11 07:44 PM What to do?
FFSC Offline


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 8
Hello,

This is my first time on here. In 1986 and '87 I know something was done do me by someone who was atleast 10 years older than me. It was at a summer camp. He was a counselor and I was 8 years old. Those events started a 25-30 year struggle with depression, thoughts and attempts of sucide, and troubles with relationships. In the past 6 months I've been in intence therapy and the events of abuse have recenty come up.
I've always remembered my abuser's name and I looked him up on a sex offender regestry and the name and a picture that I'm 90% sure is him came up. He has been convicted of a sex crime and is registerd. Question is though, How do I go about confirming that it is him? Do I contact the camp? The county/state he's in? Any help whould be great in this matter. Thank you.


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#364118 - 06/13/11 08:04 PM Re: What to do? [Re: FFSC]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6365
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
The camp will MOST likely not give you a positive answer even if it was him. A couple of things you can do:

1) Ask the District Atty to confirm it's him. But the shmoe on the registry is open to public viewing and info...so ask the DA's office to help you get more info. And while yer at it, tell him all you want about what happened to you. If you can't say it in words, have the issue written-out to hand them or to even open after you leave.

2) Go meet the bastard with a friend as a witness that you did not put "that shoe-mark on his face."

I'm very sorry this happened to you. "8 yo..." That runs a special horror through my psychy. Tears and Fears.

How are you doing with the "healing" part?

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

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#364192 - 06/14/11 05:35 PM Re: What to do? [Re: Still]
FFSC Offline


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 8
Thank you for the advice and support.

I'm working on the healing. I had been holding this in for 25 years and only in the past 2 weeks starting talking about it. I've got a good support base of family, friends, and therapist. Just trying to let it all out and figure out my next step.


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#364198 - 06/14/11 07:26 PM Re: What to do? [Re: FFSC]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6365
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Well, Welcome to the MS site. You'll find AMPLE input, support and perspective here as well. Its a great place to find others in the same boat. Feel free to post-away with questions and requests.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

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#364219 - 06/15/11 12:24 AM Re: What to do? [Re: Still]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
The first thing I would suggest is answering the question if you want to do anything. Why do you want to conferm who it is? Is it because you hope to procecute him? Because you want to confront him? Or is it just to take back the control he took from you in the first place?

Are you ready for the possibility you may go to court just find out there is “reasonable drought” and him get away? Are you ready for the possibility you might confirm it is him just to be told the statue of limitations is expired? If you are ready for the fact that the system might re-victimize you, the place to start is with filing a police report. With this being a cold case it might receive the lowest priority, so I would suggest you continue to follow up on it at that point.

So far I found : one of his kids won’t support any case and claims to not remember but I think he does based on some comments, and the other appears to not remember or she is a very good liar. . I have spoken with another victim I know to have been a victim that does not remember. I have spoken with several people I thought to be victims; this located another victim who remembers, but he was never aware the perp was photographing kids from the closet, so he isn’t much support I have contacted the perps current wife or rather she contacted me and we spoke at length….From her I learned that he moved to Utah to get away for charges involving his neice. Most of this research I did, not the cop, and I feel like his involvement may have actually been negative. I am going nowhere and will likely never get a prosecution little alone a conviction… Be prepared for things to not turn out they way you expect.

You are a witness, so they may not release info to you, because they will worry about altering your testimony, or make your testimony questionable. The police and the DA can help you get the information, but whether they will share it with you is an entirely different story. We live in a world where laws are written to protect the abuser, not the victim.

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#364224 - 06/15/11 01:48 AM Re: What to do? [Re: Napoleon]
grumplestiltskin Offline


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 30
Loc: Denver CO
I am kinda in a situation like this. Found one of my abusers (the worst of them) on a registry. From what I can tell, he's still in prison, and it looks like it happened right after he abused me. I met his next victim; wonder if it was him. I've just been assuming statute of limitations, lack of evidence, etc., made it impossible to pursue anything.


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#364225 - 06/15/11 02:00 AM Re: What to do? [Re: grumplestiltskin]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
I do not suggest assuming the statute of limitations has expired. But be physiologically prepared for it as a possibility.

Some countries there is no statute of limitations on crimes involving children. In the US it depends on what state you are in. Most states have no statute on these crimes. Some states it will depend on when it occurred. Other states have exceptions, such as if the person is disabled, or if knowledge of the crime was delayed, such as with amnesic memories. In some countries it will based on what the law was at the time, not what the law currently is.

The only way to really know is to talk to someone in the profession, because of all the exceptions, the laws are too complicated for most…

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#364635 - 06/20/11 11:29 AM Re: What to do? [Re: Napoleon]
FFSC Offline


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 8
Thank you all for the great advice and support. I'm going to look into every avenue.


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#365680 - 07/08/11 06:06 PM Re: What to do? [Re: FFSC]
FFSC Offline


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 8
Contacted the DA where he was convicted and heard back from them the other day. They said they were pulling his file and that they would get back with me. I guess this is a start?


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#366346 - 07/21/11 07:46 PM Re: What to do? [Re: FFSC]
FFSC Offline


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 8
I've confirmed that it is the same person that I saw on the registry. I've been speaking with a Det. who worked his case and has helped me out with some info. I now need to speak to the police in the county where it happened. However, I spoke to a lawyer today and I think the statute of limitations has expired. I'll know more tomorrow hopefully.


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#366356 - 07/21/11 10:57 PM Re: What to do? [Re: FFSC]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
FFSC,

you are a brave person.

i wish you luck.

i hope your journey to recovery is a good one.

Every positive change - every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness - involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception. --Dan Millman

take care bro.

peace

paul

_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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#366358 - 07/21/11 11:23 PM Re: What to do? [Re: pbert53]
FFSC Offline


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 8
Thank you for your kind words man.


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#366370 - 07/22/11 01:15 AM Re: What to do? [Re: FFSC]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
There are states that have done aaway with the statude of limitations on Sexual Assult . I was raped in Houstion Texas in 1977 By annother soldger.
I have tried for years to get the Army to give me info on the POS. I have his name and the unit that he served with . At the time . I know that he was an E-7 at the time and most of them that have that much rank are Lifers. So they would have info on where he was discharged from.
Get ahold of the courts where he is believed to be and see if they will even talk to you .

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#391257 - 03/28/12 10:49 PM Re: What to do? [Re: OKIE MIKE]
FFSC Offline


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 8
Hello all,

I haven't been on for a while but wanted to talk. This past summer I had started to talk to the police in North Carolina where I was molested. At first they seemed like they wanted to work with me in bring my abuser to justice. They said that they were talking to the DA and wanted me to come up there. Since October there hs been nothing, no communication. I think it has to do with statute of limitations and that nobody else has come forward about him eventhough he's already been convicted of another crime and is on the NC registry. Should i still try? Here in South Carolina abusers from 25-30 yrars ago are getting arrested. I just don't get it. What do you think?

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