My early childhood physical abuse and neglect directly led to me encountering sexual abuse at the hands of my so-called counselor as a teenager.

They are separate but integrally, inexorably linked; with their own baggage.

Thank you cris40ky,

Your courage in sharing and demanding recovery for yourself is inspiring, thank you.

This collateral dynamic of Sexual Abuse is a forum that needs to be for discussion, processes, and resolution of physical, emotional, verbal, and religious abuse.

Sam

I was verbally and physically abused and neglected by my father. His indifference and abuse led me to become the perfect target for my abusers.

I support a creating a forum for men like myself and others who suffered yet another type of abuse.

Rusty

Thank you Rusty,

Our voice is growing, much appreciation for adding yours, fellow survivor.

Sam

Please brothers, if your sexual abuse was surrounded by physical, emotional, verbal or religious abuse, or if you know someone who has been..,

.., add you voice and make a difference!

A forum for us in a site, MaleSurvivor, of safety and personal maturity for so many.

Sam

Okay, count me in. I endured CSA, sexual harassment, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, and physical abuse. Where I used to think my screwed up life was exclusively linked to the CSA, I now know that the CSA was only one part of the lousy, abusive life that I lived and continue to live. I would welcome the opportunity to tap this additional support, if it comes to fruition.

Thanks, guys.

Peace,

John

Keep expressing your resolve to recover from SA and the collateral dynamics that support it, John!

Thank you for Adding Your Voice!

Sam

Umm, I don't know if what I went through as a kid qualifies for your forum. But it does seem very interesting and looks helpful for me while I sort some stuff out. I don't know if this is the correct place to write this but I need to explain where I am coming from in order to see if I fit in here. If it is too long then I have no objections to this post being deleted. A longer intro is under “My story from 20,000 feet ** Triggers **”

My parents were never around for me. I was needed only for their ticket to middle America and the American dream where more than one kid and his picture in your wallet would be overkill. Other than that I was useless baggage. My mother thought I would never amount to anything and drove that point home. She beat me but that was a joke. My father never said anything.

I was taken advantage of when I was 10 both me and my best friend by his sister, her girlfriend and their boyfriends. The boyfriends were pure evil where they would use their dogs to get off on us.

At 13 my parents bought another house in Florida. My mother spent the winters there (10 month winters) and my father would go down for the weekends (Thursday thru Monday). I had plenty of TV diners to eat. I met a coach at gymnastics practice and he let me stay in his apartment for the weekends so I could practice in the city as apposed to Long Island. He was the first person to show me any kindness, buy me stuff, take me to the movies, etc. By the end of 6-8 months I was being pimped, as were others. That went on for 4-1/2 years along with a growing and wicked drug habit.

At this moment in my life I still don't see being sold as abuse. This man was to me the best father a kid could have. Yes, we slept together and stuff happened. I loved this guy. As far as being pimped/sold I would have done anything for this man. He replaced my parents totally.

I walked away from this life at 18 when I went to the USAF. I never went back. I'm 60 now (have a wife of 35 years, 6 kids, 10 grandchildren) and I still cannot shake this line of thinking. This story has never been told to anyone aside from a good friend and his wife for the past 30 years. I always thought of abuse as being beaten or having to do something that you don't want to do. Aside from my best friend's sister and her friends I wasn't abused by this guy, wasn't hit or anything but rather I was kissed and hugged and taken care of.

I wish this forum was around 40 years ago. But then again my story was for all intent and purposed legal back in the '60s. In my 4-1/2 years in the Village I was always hassled by the police but nothing ever happened aside from being hit in the *ss with a baton. They just wanted us to be as invisible as possible.

Jeff

The Web Oversight Committee met on the evening of July 6 at which time this request for a forum specific to physical abuse was discussed.

After some lively give and take it was concluded that for the present time MaleSurvivor should concentrate it's efforts specifically on providing resources and support for male victims of sexual abuse and/or sexual assault.

The committee understands that in many cases other forms of abuse may well cause a young person to become vulnerable to the sexual abuse they experience. While we are making no plans toward introducing this forum we want to make it clear that, as has always been the case, users are free to use these boards to discuss the impact of other forms of abuse on their lives. The Male Survivors forum, or any other forum that seems appropriate may be used for that purpose.

I think the request may have been presented in the wrong context if it was simply presented as a "physical abuse" forum. More aptly, it would have been more like a peripheral causes forum that allows men to look deeper than the tunnel vision of the sexual abuse that occurred. From my own experience, when I was in therapy we spent approximately the first 4 months discussing issues of my dysfunctional family of origin, specifically the physical abuse of my father, emotional neglect of my mother, etc. After a few months of this, I finally asked my therapist why we were spending so much time talking about my father because I considered the sexual abuse that occurred at the hands of others to be my "main" issues. Without skipping a beat he said something to the effect of "Because the abuse and trauma of your early childhood conditioned you to be susceptible to the sexual abuse that came later. You need to understand that progression to comprehend that the sexual abuse was not your fault." That was a watershed moment of realization for me because I had never put those pieces together. I fear that many men come here simply focused on the sexual abuse issues and not on the larger picture of how it all fits together. My hope was that this specific forum would have helped them to begin thinking along those other avenues.