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#363733 - 06/07/11 01:30 AM Telling my father...
Narasuke Offline


Registered: 05/01/09
Posts: 17
Loc: Columbus, OH
I cant do it. I cant bring myself to tell my father about my abuse. I think about it...but then i talk myself out of it. And it makes little sense to me.

Im not really sure why I cant do it. I mean...i tell myself some reasons...like I dont want to burden him with my problems..and its still an extremely personal thing for me....

but then...I've been able to tell some of my friends about the abuse...and not just that I was abused...but in more detail than I've been able to with my own father.

Maybe it's because I feel that in a way, he contributed to my abuse by never being around...and I know that if I start the conversation...it will eventually get to my abandonment issues...and the anger i've developed as a result...

But...there brings up a flaw that my dad sadly possesses...defensiveness. Whenever my father gets confronted...his natural reaction is to be defensive. This is understandable on a small scale....but when he goes defensive...he shuts everything else out...and doesnt let the other party get anything in...and that would get me nowhere in my recovery...i feel.

I want to be able to talk to him about the nightmares of my past...but im not sure either of us is ready for it yet.


Michael


I guess I should maybe have prefaced this by saying that I am a 22 year old sexual abuse survivor. I was abused by my best friends mother from the age of 11 until almost 19.

_________________________
Proud Alumnus of Hope Springs WoR, 2010

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#363734 - 06/07/11 01:32 AM Re: Telling my father... [Re: Narasuke]
Narasuke Offline


Registered: 05/01/09
Posts: 17
Loc: Columbus, OH
Hmm...it seems that whenever I start a post...i tend to write a long rant...but i guess that's what it takes for me.


Thanks for always letting me rant,

Michael

_________________________
Proud Alumnus of Hope Springs WoR, 2010

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#363735 - 06/07/11 01:58 AM Re: Telling my father... [Re: Narasuke]
vachssfan Offline


Registered: 03/08/11
Posts: 58
Loc: TX
rant all u need man. and he's ur dad. i dont know ur story. but assuming hes not a piece of shit (and i truly hope he isnt) your not "burdening" him.
if i was a dad, i'd want to know what happened to my son. it would hurt me but i would want to know so i could console him and help him- even if i wasnt around much.
but that's me. i'm just saying, i wouldn't see it as a "burden"

again i don't know your story. or you relationship with your dad past what you have written here. i'm just throwing out a different way for you to maybe think about it.

hang in there.

_________________________
www.memoryisaghost.blogspot.com/

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#363778 - 06/07/11 10:59 AM Re: Telling my father... [Re: vachssfan]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Michael let your heart guide you on this. You and your Dad got years of living ahead, work to make them good years if you can. Your words say it matters a lot.

I never told my Dad and it left me angry and bitter towards him. Like your Dad I blame him for things not done.

It also leave me second guessing do I get it right with my own kids. I think that's really my point, don't carry this forward and let it effect you in ways unseen.

Good luck. It's all about you Michael....

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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