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#363738 - 06/07/11 02:34 AM Reaching Out
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
I keep logging into the MS site, hoping to find a new post on the ASA forum, but not seeing any...

I dunno ...i just want to feel a kindred spirit with other guys with ASA. Honestly, i just want to feel something, anything besides this empty void i carry.

I don't feel any emotions regarding my rapes, actually ...not the dissasociative kind, just nothing anymore. No anger or sadness or shame. Just ...nothing. Makes me think "did it really happen?" but i know it did.

The only time i feel any emotions or get any healing it seems, is when i get the chance to reach out to my brothers in need, but it just isn't happening anymore it seems.

Where is everyone? I don't want to push, i just wonder. Are you hiding? Are you afraid to post? Or are you afraid of hurting someone on here? I dunno ...just feeling lost and numb right now ...and lonely.

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363742 - 06/07/11 02:42 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11053
Loc: Denver, CO
Hi DH.

I hate feeling lonely too. And I appreciate those days when I have someone to connect with, even if it's in regards to empathy in abuse.

I know for myself, I just haven't thought much about the ASA part of things lately. I look back on it at times, but asking the same old questions only brings up feelings of self-blame and doubt. Not really something I want to keep punishing myself over. Avoidance? I don't know, maybe. Or it's just not stinging like it used to.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#363747 - 06/07/11 03:12 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: FormerTexan]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
That's ok Andy ...i totally understand that feeling of not punishing yourself over, re-hashing the same issues ...

Just feeling the need to reach out smile

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My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363753 - 06/07/11 07:31 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Darkheart,

I totally understand what you mean about the need for connecting with those who have walked a similar path. I remember the first time I heard a male voice say "I understand what you went through". It was many years after my assault and I was crashing hard again. I was very suicidal and knew it. I had been betrayed by a friend who knew of the rapes that night. In a dispute at my work I found that my opponents knew and in shame I resigned and moved away again.

I called the most reputable hospital around and spoke with a man around my age at the time. In this short phone crisis intake he spoke the words I had waited years to hear from another man. A man who had, as an adult, gone through what I had experienced. His words were brief but I can still not only hear his words to this day but I think could pick his voice out from a crowd. That is how powerful it was for me. I think it pushed me to check myself into the hospital which did save my life. The first time was court ordered - this time I took control and saw my need for help.

I still search for ASA resources both online and in person with little to no success. I am a bit on a break from that right now due to the many walls I have hit since January. I am still looking to hear "I understand" I guess.

I am so sorry that this is such a lonely time for you. I count you as a valuable friend and a ally in the needs for ASA men. You are a wonderful connection for me.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#363758 - 06/07/11 08:52 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: prisonerID]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Thanks Daryl ...

Your words, and story mean a lot, truly. I think deep down, i am seeking the connection. I'm finally strong enough and healed enough to need and want the relationships on here...

I'm honored that you find that connection in me, and that you see me as an ally for others ...

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http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363759 - 06/07/11 09:02 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
I am sorry you feel so much isolation right now.

I feel like a lot of guys gave me support in the last thread and right now I am just trying to stay in therapy (feel sick to my stomach every time I go) and not isolate from people in my life who want to help. Just haven't felt like I have much to say since...it is easier to think about the peripheral issues I have that revolve around my rape rather than the rape itself, which is what my T always tries to get me to talk about.

I think there are male ASA survivors on here that know much more than I do about how to get over this. We get absolutely NO FREAKING RECOGNITION from the mental health community, which is even more corrupt & shady than the New Jersey state government! There are some compassionate men in the business (like my therapist) who will help people with ASA even though it is not their area of expertise, but I know that in the end we are all making this recovery stuff up as we go along. I have only been a survivor for about a year & a half, but if you just need someone to talk to I'm around.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#363766 - 06/07/11 10:09 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: CruxFidelis]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Thanks Crux smile

Is there anything that myself or the other guys can do to help you? I know what you mean regarding therapy for ASA...it's been over 20 years since my rapes, but i still haven't found a therapist ...

I get those peripheral issues as well ...the work on them rather than the rape itself ...yeah, i get it...

Thanks for the offer Crux ...I'll hit you up if i need you ...

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#363770 - 06/07/11 10:20 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
earlybird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
Thanks Darkheart for posting this thread. I guess I’m not is such a good place about the ASA forum.

I feel as if I come to the floor to dance and the music stops. The obvious silence from the band leaders is deafening and the lack of partners of who wish to share the rhythms of the moment with me, disheartening. I’m beginning to learn to sway to my own tune, one though I don’t understand why, seems strident to others.

What did I expect? I guess I thought that if we, ASA’ers, were given our own floor to tap out our past with fingers rather than toes we’d discover some of the old harmonic moves stolen by the raping of men. Has this proven to be the case? Some say yes, some cry no, so why the difference? Am I an ugly dance selection, a partner of embarrassment? Is it that my outfit, the clothes dressed over me by an event that gave me a selection of colorless outerwear that is not of my fitting? Are my moves such that I’ve stomped too many toes forcing potential partners to the floors edge? Or are others just as afraid as I to rediscover how wonderful music and the dance can be when shared with others?

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

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#363771 - 06/07/11 10:23 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: earlybird]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Earl, it is my opinion that the latter is true. We are all afraid to rediscover ...

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#363803 - 06/07/11 06:28 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: earlybird]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 270
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
B proud of yourself! I dance in my car all the time!
I dont care. I am waiting for the time.. maybe i should get me some spending budget , so i can take me out for a good time! that felt good. Dance away....


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#363810 - 06/07/11 07:50 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Sterling]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Haha ...i do the car dance too. laugh

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http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363819 - 06/07/11 10:35 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Sterling]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
Hey guys my name is Joe, I'm 36 and I was sexually abuse by my father when I was 5, my brother when I was about 8-10 and when I was 5 my cousin coericed me into something sexual (he was same age). My issues now are my sexual identity, anxiety, PTS and isolation. Im a personal trainer and I deal with people all day long and its so emotionaly draining. I have never been with men outside of my abuse but I suffer from SSA. My wife just left me cause she found out I cheated on her a few years back with some other girls (3 different times). I also told her I didnt know if I was gay or not. But at the time the abuse was JUST coming to the surface. 5 weeks later I can see the connection to my SSA both sexually and emotionally to my abuse. I have been with so many women sexually throughought my life, i have been in many relationships with most being badly co-dependant. But I have always feared I was gay. I believe I feel somehow responsible for the abuse, I enjoyed some aspect of it and I have SSA with some of that being a need to simply be close to a man, all of that mixed with some other extrenal BS has caused me to deeply believe and fear I am gay. But I see how the abuse affected me and affected my ability to be close to men. I am stuck now because I just recovered the abuse from my brother. Or I finally admitted it to myself however you want to look at it. I feel very alone, isolated, anxious and hopeless. Something triggered me today that cause a Post Trumatic episode and I was in darkness all day. I could use some male friendship and any input would be appreciated.

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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#363823 - 06/08/11 12:03 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: thefutureorbust]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Joe,

Sounds to me that perhaps you seek the friendship and companionship of other guys. This in turn then leads to ssa? Or does the attraction happen first?

We know what you're going through ...the abuse affects us all sexually, makes us question our physical response, ask ourselves what our desires are...

You're not alone in this ...

_________________________
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http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363850 - 06/08/11 08:58 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
Thanks Dark, it is different at different times. Sometimes it feels like I believe that guy has something over me and its almost like "I have no choice" and feel the SSA and become a child again, out of control etc. Sometimes it feels like friendship turned attraction, seeking love? understanding? acceptance? I have plenty of guy friends to guy around and watch MMA and bullshit, but no deep male bonding to express feelings. I have always been with women, have had great sex with them etc. But when My self-esteem is low, when anxiety is high when stress is high and when I feel isolated the sexual fantasy's about men come up. Its like I want to take control back and go be with a guy. I think its more about anxiety vs actual desire?

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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#363857 - 06/08/11 01:09 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: thefutureorbust]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
That's what i think too . Anxiety is part of it, but i think the loneliness is a factor too perhaps?

SSA is a complex, multifaceted thing. It's not just sex and attractions. It's the underlying emotions as well ...

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My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363858 - 06/08/11 01:28 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Would you say you think SSA is more or less common in ASA survivors vs. CSA?

I haven't had any inclinations that way but it seems like the sort of thing that wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility for ASA.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#363859 - 06/08/11 01:55 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: CruxFidelis]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
In my opinion, it depends on the extent of the abuse. By this, i mean was it a one time event, or a longer lasting abuse? Was the perpetrator someone known? Was there force involved?

These questions come up, because i believe they skew ones internal compass. If the abuse was from a loved one, or friend, and didn't involve force or injury, it is much easier to get ssa into the mix than say a guy who was raped at random by a stranger one time ...

Also, for the ASA, the person usually has their sexuality defined ..by this, i mean if one was straight before a rape, they rarely begin having ssa. However, for a kid or teenager, their sexuality is in development, and thus easier to confuse ...

I know from my perspective i had underlying homosexual feelings before my rapes, but no csa. But my rapes were long lasting enough to cause myself to question if i was truly gay ...

So.....overall, i have experienced more ssa from our csa brothers than our asa brothers.

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My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363860 - 06/08/11 02:19 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Makes sense. I think it is probably easier for straight guys to end up experiencing SSA if the rape was more of a coerced thing that involved grooming, rather than a forceful incident that was unquestionably violent and with malicious intent. Both types of assault/abuse are just as horrible but I guess the resulting trauma can have different ways of manifesting itself.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#363862 - 06/08/11 02:34 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: CruxFidelis]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Exactly ...

Another issue for the ASA to deal with regarding ssa is the physical response ...I've met a few straight guys who were raped. Their physiological response ie ejaculation, has caused them a lot of issues. Some act out in an effort to recreate the experience ...

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http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363864 - 06/08/11 03:22 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
I was 5 years old and it was my father. He seduced me, kissed me and told me I was "pretty", he also called me my mothers name. The abuse was a few times as far as I can remember. I buried it for years but whenever the SSA came up I was like WTF?? am I gay? how can I be gay im sitting her masturbating to penthouse and I was having sex with my gf 7 times a day and loving it? I didnt fully realize or admit I was abused, the SSA would get stronger as I got older and I started blocking it out and denying it, now it comes when I feel out of control, I am learning to accept it for what it is and not get so upset by it. It messes with my mind at times. I am getting a divorce from my wife and I am lonely so the issues of deep friendship come up. Im a personal trainer and train 8-9 clients a day and I hang out with guys and watch MMA and BS but its nothing deep. I need to fix that deep need thats buried inside of me for love from a man (non sexual). I know some therapists say go experiement but I dont want to wreck my mind furthur. My self-esteem with women is shot because of the abuse and I am ashamed of the SSA, so I masturbate 3-4 times a day. I did get laid a few weeks ago at a party but felt guilty afterwards. I need to put me and my self-worth based on who I am as a person and how i take care of myself VS sex. Everything is SEX SEX SEX with me. I look at a girl and think "would I fuck her"? women at times are objects, I am scared of getting hurt by them, of not being man enough, etc. With guys and the SSA sometimes when it comes I revert back to being a child. Almost helpless, its scary actually I hate it. It messes my mind up for hours afterwards.

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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#363869 - 06/08/11 03:54 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: thefutureorbust]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Yeah ...i think that you, like me, are looking for that deep bonding from another man...you are looking for a guy that you can truly trust with your past, that will accept you ...

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363892 - 06/08/11 11:30 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
earlybird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
I know that what Sterling said and my dear friend Darkheart seem to support (listen to my own tunes) was meant to be a support. But dang it guys it’s not! I danced for years, far too many fucking years, to my own tune. I came here to change that failing pattern. I’ve struggled for over a year now not to return to the singular tune of the rape that threw my rhythmic beat off track. I came here to join a chorus of men, to get back into proper key, to suggest I do otherwise, even though I know was meant with good intentions, was poor advice.

This is twice now recenlty where I've heard it say that we, ASA's, need to do this crap on our own. Why are we handed a different set of guidelines to accomplish the end result of healing?

I don't know maybe it's sound thinking because the other sure isn't working out so well.



Edited by earlybird (06/08/11 11:31 PM)
_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

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#363897 - 06/09/11 12:07 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: earlybird]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Earlybird,

I totally understand, and completely relate. Myself, like yourself and many others continue to struggle on our quest for healing.

Many, i think just do not understand the singular difference in issues we face as ASA, just like many do not understand the issues i deal with as a military sexual assault victim ...

Hell, i don't even hear the music anymore, let alone dance ...all i do is stumble blindly ...

_________________________
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http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363903 - 06/09/11 01:43 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 728
Loc: United States
There are no rules. There is only what works.

Not what everyone says works for everyone, or what one man says works for them.

There is just what works for you. And while you seek to find the beat or melody that is your own path forward, we will mark different times and beats for you to try and stand ready with bursts of joyous laughter for your moments of discovery.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#363905 - 06/09/11 03:09 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
efm,

When i read this, i got a visual of us all together with our war paint on, beating our drums, shaking our tom tom's, and preparing the war party.

Regardless of which tribe we belong to, we share a common enemy ...sexual assault. United, we shall win the fight, divided, we fall. Together, with many voices, let our voices heal, not spread discord ...

There has to be a solution, but what is it????

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363910 - 06/09/11 08:41 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Then can I paint half my face blue and get out the bagpipes? LOL just kidding.

I like your chorus analogy. Not only because I am a vocal music geek but it speaks to healing experience I always had when singing in a group. There is something so healing and affirming when you can sing one note, and another person is able to harmonize with what you're singing. When you sing with someone for awhile, you start to share a musical bond, which can be a very beautiful thing for a friendship. These days my voice isn't so good anymore and I mostly play piano and enjoy accompanying the voices of others. But I agree, Earl, you have been singing by yourself for far too long.

I don't know about you, but I don't have perfect pitch. I have what is called "relative pitch." I can match pitches & create scales in my head when I have one true note (either from a pitch pipe, or a guitar tuner, or something. I don't trust my piano because it is never perfectly in tune). A lot of proficient singers can really embarrass themselves when they start out on the wrong pitch, or someone else gives them a tonal cue that is anything but tonal smile

I think what we have going on here, is a group of very proficient emotional musicians, who already have a lot of tools for their recovery at their own disposal. Earl, you have been walking this road a lot longer than I have and I am continually impressed by your self-awareness and wisdom. You are proficient, there is nothing wrong with you, you were just knocked off track by your assault.

I don't mean to denigrate the good work that has gone on in the areas of mental health, healing, and recovery for male survivors of CSA, or female survivors of both rape & CSA. I'm not just talking about support services, crisis counseling, or the number of therapists out there that assist people suffering from these problems. What I'm talking about is discourse in the mental health community, awareness in the public eye, and inquiry from people in academia whose areas of study could relate to ASA. It's hard to find a musical reference point when there are so few notes you can relate to--and those notes are all out of tune, too. I think there are fields like male CSA where there are prominent people out there who are dedicated to helping & raising awareness. Figures like Mike Lew, organizations like Male Survivor, etc, give CSA survivors the correct pitch so they can set the rest of their lives in working order. Going through rape/assault as a grown man is disorienting enough, and just like a group of proficient singers still need a music director in order for their voices to blend together well, we need professional recognition and group leadership. The CSA recovery community has a few "Leonard Bernstein" type figures. We need authorities on the subject of ASA to step up, too.



Edited by CruxFidelis (06/09/11 08:45 AM)
_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#363912 - 06/09/11 10:36 AM Re: Reaching Out [Re: CruxFidelis]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Crux, you go for it...my ancestors are Celtic ...i need an excuse to get me a kilt laugh

Wow ...you really stated this so eloqently ...i agree, we need authority for our issues too...

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#363913 - 06/09/11 12:03 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: Darkheart]
earlybird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
Crux, I agree with Darkheart - well said my good friend but trust me on this one, you don’t want my squeaky voice harmonizing with anything remotely musical. I best stick to listening to the chorus of angels or men and writing my thoughts which even they are often off beat to the rhythms of my heart.

You do bring into the discussion a powerful point which I’m not sure what the answer to be. We have no “giant” or “legion” to look up to for hope and answers. Maybe this is why I look to the natural things like the rising sun, which reminds me I too rise every morning and can either be bright and warm or allow myself to be overtaken by the thunderclouds of past events. As the sun I will also set in the distance disappearing from the view of others.

Thanks Earlybird

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

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#363914 - 06/09/11 12:23 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: earlybird]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Originally Posted By: earlybird

You do bring into the discussion a powerful point which I’m not sure what the answer to be. We have no “giant” or “legion” to look up to for hope and answers. Maybe this is why I look to the natural things like the rising sun, which reminds me I too rise every morning and can either be bright and warm or allow myself to be overtaken by the thunderclouds of past events. As the sun I will also set in the distance disappearing from the view of others.


I just hope that by the time my son is my age and possibly finds out about what happened to me, there will be organizations, thought leaders, prominent voices in the mental health & recovery communities and books at his disposal.

I wish that we could just hand our wives a book for spouses of men with ASA and say, "here, this might be helpful."

At times, I think about writing a book about my recovery, but I haven't actually recovered yet and it would be in the genre of memoir, not self-help.

A few months ago I went to my local university library trying to find pieces of scholarship on this topic, and while there are a few dissertations/studies in the field of criminology, the fields of social work, psychology and sociology haven't done diddly-squat in the past decade. Where's the call for papers? Come on, idealistic PhD candidates! If you want an idea for an original dissertation topic we've got one right here.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#363915 - 06/09/11 12:24 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: CruxFidelis]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Crux,

You nailed it and have repeated some of what I have shared with others in PMs. But I do believe you said it all in a far more beautiful way. Bravo indeed for you spoke the truth!


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#363916 - 06/09/11 12:32 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: prisonerID]
earlybird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
So what is our plan?

Sit and wait for the band leaders to rise up and fill the need?
Scream out to an tone deaf social structure awakening them from slumber?
Join the choruses of others who are welcoming but who's song sung is of a different pitch?
Or let the music stop?

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

Top
#363917 - 06/09/11 01:03 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: earlybird]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
For me I will keep knocking on doors, asking questions and challenging the status quo on male abuse. Whether I make any difference I feel I have an obligation for the men who will be assaulted in the future.

I do not feel I can complain about the current lack of recognition and services unless I am also out there kicking the tires as well.

I am willing but acknowledge I cannot do this alone or create what is not there. I hope some pros get involved at some point but we shall see...

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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#363921 - 06/09/11 02:09 PM Re: Reaching Out [Re: prisonerID]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Yes, none of us can do this alone ...

I'm not sure what to do either, but i know i survived because i was too stubborn to give up. And on behalf of my brothers who haven't found their way yet, i will remain stubborn ...and bullheaded ...and i will not shut up about this issue until we all have a chorus of our own...

I'm no Lady Gaga, but i have music in my heart, just waiting for the band to strike up a tune...

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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