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#363704 - 06/06/11 05:55 PM Having a tough time
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
cry I'm struggling to pull myself out of a spiraling decline. Things were going so well and now I find myself in a desperate downward spin. I'm withdrawing from all again, and starting to fantasize about things again, and I feel like I'm verging on sabotaging all that I have worked for AGAIN. Same crap different day. Why cant I just take the healing I have gained and run with it, be free, guilt free, deserving of love, attention, intimacy, success. Shit this sucks
I hope just posting and seeing some replies from the wise will lift my spirits.
Thanks Guys
Martin

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#363707 - 06/06/11 06:11 PM Re: Having a tough time [Re: whome]
Hereagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/01/11
Posts: 36
Martin we havent talked before but hang in there and remember your not alone.

I always try to take things one day at a time. Sometimes when I'm really having a rough time I try to take it even slower I'll ask myself what do I need to do to make it through the next hour?

Remember to be kind to your self, try not to beat your self up for stumbling a little bit, we all have our ups and downs. Before I started my recovery I was pretty reckless. I seemed to always make the wrong choices. In the last few years since I've started recovery things have started to change I still occasionally stumble and make wrong decisions but I'm able to understand what is leading me to make those decisions and I think that is empowering and gives me the strength to get through the rough patches.

Hope this helps


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#363788 - 06/07/11 12:26 PM Re: Having a tough time [Re: Hereagain]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey guys

Feeling better today. Figured out the triggers. Mother. My Mom called me the other day and once again laid a guilt trip on me that took a week to figure out. THANK GOD for my wife who put it all together when I told her about what I was going through. I can feel myself withdrawing and getting into the self mutilation, (can definitely feel that part) but don't seem able pull myself out of the funk. Well as I say the beautiful distraction was able to point out, that I get this way, in varying degrees, when the evil one calls. Thanks Hereagain for responding.

Love you guys

GOD SPEED
GOOD HEALING
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#363790 - 06/07/11 12:59 PM Re: Having a tough time [Re: whome]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
Hey Whome,

Well, I am glad you were able to find some support and zero in on what stirred you up. I am very critical of myself, and when I stumble I punish myself repeatedly. Fortunately, I am doing everything that I can to put setbacks into perspective. I am learning to take what I can from them and let them go.

Thank you for the update on your situation. It is nice to see that you are identifying the source of your triggers. Heal well brother.

Cheers,

Daniel

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I am the warrior.

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