Honestly, I have been where you are many times. I have pushed loved ones away and I have said some hurtful things. It was an angry time in my life. But as ren mentioned, true love never dies. I have to believe that with every ounce of my being.
Let me tell you that you deserve to be loved. You deserve all the caring and support that your loved ones have to offer. Sometimes we let our own self image distort our relationships, but just remind yourself that you are worth all the love in the world. Fake it if you have to. I hope this helps. Heal well brother.
I am the warrior.