Your signature line: And then always the question if it's fair that its a fight to just be. The hard part to me isn't the fight it's the fact that we want it all to mean something that makes us really human instead of something else. We want it to be more than just the world turning.
Sometimes it helps me to realize that the turning of the world is interesting, even if all I can see is my own tiny little struggling self.
SOmetimes I'm like a terribly sad movie that goes on and on and on, but somehow when I start seeing it as a movie, it gets more bearable.
Like this thing with your brother. If you step back and look at the two of you like its a set of shots that cuts between you and him, each living your own lives but connected in this strange way. Then in some other rooms, these other people you know; they're living their lives, too. Each in their own way they're fighting to just be and make meaning, too.
When I think this way, I like to let the movie wander out my window to the neighbors and their stories, and to people I see driving past me or buying stuff at the grocery store, etc.
We're this little part of something really big and unknowable. Working this way helps me to get out of my own head for a while.
By the way, have you tried lucid dreaming? It can help you get control of your dreams. I used to do it (should start again). All my dreams were wicked cool skateboard blowouts, literally flying down mountains, etc. When it works, you can pick up the story of your dreams and shape it pretty strongly.
Here's a random lucid dreaming site that might be useful: http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/lucid-dreaming-techniques.html
One other thought. Since you're just graduating from high school, there's a program called Americorps that might be cool for you. It's a way to get out of home very safely and securely and to have some interesting experiences helping others. http://www.americorps.gov/for_individuals/choose/index.asp
I hope this is helpful,