I've had intense memories and nightmares for years now but lately it's the same dream every night just in different forms.
I dream about my mother when she stabbed me and then I either meet my brother (who passed away from leukemia a few years ago)or I wake up in the hospital.
I can't help but wish the first dream would have come true.

This is not the first time someone has posted, or will post somthing like this.



http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...1440#Post361440

Your far from alown.

Three sentences, so much pain and sadness..

I feel you.

not alone but lonely

people say wounds heal over time
it gets better eventually
etc
i dont see how really

There are things that can be done to bring definite healing.

Talk things out to a T (therapist) or trusted, competent person. It's not just talk. When you talk it out, it gets it out of your subconscious mind where it can be healed.

Read books on healing from abuse, like those of Singer or Lew.

Be active in MS (here) and express your hurts and see what others recommend. Chat and discussion board.

There are some special techniques which work: EMDR.

Hypnotherapy for abuse at a very young age or other reason.

Some people may need a little medication.

Allen

Lucas a guy here I find to be very smart said it is about our futures not our pasts. We can't take back what was done. We can very much decide what happens next.

I don't know anyone in life who is free of hurt...people lose loved ones, sickness and accidents change lives, jobs are losts, families fall apart....the list goes on.

It's very unfair bad things happen to good people. Trauma of any sort cuts to our core. I have seen people curl up in a ball due to life, others somehow have a capacity to carry it and live.

My Therapist feels its comes from within us or not. If you want it, it will happen. All the rest are the tools to get us there.

Dig deep and hard. Honest to God if there was a magic pill to help us all you'd fine me giving them out 24x7.

Heal Lucas...please keep at this.

maybe i dont have it within me. idk.
maybe im just one of the losers
theres no reall reason for me to fight anymore anyway
both my parents nearly killed me
my younger brother is dead
my older brother wich i only learned about like a few months ago doesnt want to have anything to do with me after all
i dont have any dreams or hopes anymore
i'm graduating highschool this year and i have no clue what to do next.

There are no reasons to explain
A silent killer bears no blame
There are no answers though I pray
I die though this is not my grave

My broken spirit steals my voice

I'm not ready for this, no I'm not ready for this

http://youtu.be/Qy6RbUNS0tQ

Maybe you DO have it in you
Maybe your losses are past you.

I have hopes for you graduating and moving on towards finding out what joy and freedom there can be in life.

And I hope your many brothers here at MS positively impact your life as they have mine.

Drop,

There are a bunch of us who have to really reteach our minds what life is all about. This can be done. If your whole frame of reference is pretty negative, then the answer really is to find ways that can enlarge your frame of reference.

One way I've done this is to watch movies. Not just any movies, but special movies which will enlarge my frame of reference.

Some movies are toxic and will actually lead you further away.

For example. As a teen I had a speech problem. When I started in recovery I watched movies about speech problems being solved. I have a recent thread here about it. I also read books on related problems. The first one I looked at was called Trapped in Silence. At first I wondered if the movie/book was about me, written by a former therapist but with changed details. The author of that book made into a movie had a brilliant way of enlarging the guy's sense of himself. When you read of it you will also experience an enlargement of your sense of who you are.

The same thing happened in the movie The King's Speech. Forget about him being a king. Just learn from how he had to relearn things about himself to enable him to start living. The part where he shouts: "I HAVE A VOICE!!! I HAVE A VOICE!!!" is something I went through also. It brought healing tears to my eyes.

Some movies I wasn't ready for when I first saw them. There is a book/movie called: Running With Scissors. When I first saw it I hated it because it was so much like me. But I recently saw it again and I was able to relate meaningfully to it. So it depends on where you are in your healing.

Allen