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#361183 - 05/01/11 04:24 PM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Why am I dreading returning to group on Tuesday? What do I do to prepare? How do I risk encountering these two thugs again? How do I show my face in group after being singled-out of the herd for a hyena chase-down?

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I'm "that guy."

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#361217 - 05/01/11 11:07 PM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Still]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
I would suggest you fight back, perpetrators and thugs of all kinds often find a weaker target when you fight back.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about in group, you should find support there. Make sure they all know about what happened leave no room for embarrassment. You where apprehensive about posting here, did you not find support? While you may be apprehensive about sharing this at group, I think that you are going to find similar experience.
As a victim we have a habit of lying down and not fighting back. We where victimized, and when we fought back we were victimized worse. Are abusers took away our self determination, and this sets us up for victimization our entire life, we have to learn to fight back. We are not kids anymore, even though sometimes we might fell like one. You opened your post with “I have hesitated to post this”. Far from being embarrassed you should share your experience at group. Far from explaining what happened to the person who witnessed this, I would ask him to right up a statement about what he saw, and ask if he would testify in court, his willingness to testify gives you support to fight back.

This site is very much like the real world. You are going to find that for every one person who adamantly defends the cops actions just because they are cops several will stand by you. Bully have other victims, Bullies on the play ground know that even though they may have more power, we outnumber them. While some may blame victims for “doing nothing” and place blame on the victim saying things like “good people do nothing.”.

Call internal affairs, there is someone with internal affairs somewhere. They may not care if local, just part of the buddy system. Try to get someone from out of town, someone who reports at the next level of government up. Upper government is always trying to flaunt their power over lower government... get a bigger bully on your side. There is the possibility that the cops are just doing there jobs, based on false statements from you wife / attorney. But it sounds like they went to far.

Write a letter to the news. Nothing like public embarrassment. If your wife filed a false police statement, make sure the PIGs know that, turn their Power and Intimidation to her. If your wife’s attorney filed a false report, in most countries there is process of filing reports with a board overlooking attorneys, and such. I have filed complaints against police officers in the past. I even took on a judge just to be told after a month of investigation that it would be too hard to prove. It usually goes no where, but just like the bully in school they most often go away when you stand up to them.

When I first started fighting back, I didn’t know limits. I am rather bold when pushed to the wall, on two occasions I walked thorough a company’s store with a megaphone telling everyone why they shouldn’t shop there. They never called the cops because even though I crossed the line, they were in the wrong, they knew it. If your wife got burned every time she filed false police report, if you filed a counter claim of false report. If you filed police reports every time she crossed the line.

Use the fact they falsely “harsed you” and file a lawsuit. Bring their actions to light to the teacher; in this case it’s the head politician’s rules enforcer, (the judge). You are dealing with the police so far from being less options, there is more. Don’t look at what happened with your therapy as a bad thing, you have a witness now, not your word against theirs. Ask him to file a police report. I am not an attorney, but I love using self represented lawsuits to pull people into court, its only 25 dollars to file here. It usually costs them thousands if they win. Its rather a loose-loose situation for them, and a win-win for me. Bullies don’t like it when you stand up to them.

I remember a kid asking me why a certain kid picked on me. I thought about it for a while and then told him that it was because I would not give him my fries at lunch. The kid the picked on me was fat, he found it embarrassing, while he did make up something to get even, he never harassed me again. Guess what if you had told the right people as a kid, the abuse would have stopped, even if for a short period it got worse. Bullies don’t like people who stand up to them.

Fight back, you are not alone you don’t need to stand alone, there are people like us everywhere, look for them. Ask a friend to walk you to your car, I think they acted different, refusing to search you or car with witnesses present.

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#361223 - 05/01/11 11:44 PM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Napoleon,

I think I need to talk to the T first. He's rooted in the city and now owns a significant presence there as well. His business does SO much for SO many people. I would not want to jeopardize all the good done there. I guess, its a lot like when we protect our family unit as kids by not disclosing.

There's no reason I can't suck it up and ignore the bastards. Beyond bringing trouble to the therapy center, I would also be making myself vulnerable to the backlash of the sick underworld the PIGs maintain. I don't know...I absolutely hate that this even happened. I still don't know why it happened. I almost wonder if they were trolling for easy offenders or something??? I don't know...but they are barking up the wrong tree for that.

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I'm "that guy."

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#361226 - 05/01/11 11:56 PM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Still]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
What he has done for the city? I think I have been told this before: Its not about him, its about you. And its not your fault. Its not your job to just take it… suck it up…

What he has done for whom ever does not give the right to do to you. He has done what ever to get what he wants. Those business you describe, do you really think they are for the city, or do you think they are to put money in his pocket? Even what you think is for others, is really just a selfish act. What he has done to you, he will do to others.

I suppose I am just at a point in my life now, where It can’t get worse for me… and I do act rash. stand up for yourself. I still remeber when I started standing up for myself and took BEST BUY to court for riping me off, and then walking through their store with a megaphone, now thats funny.

Talking to your T first, that is a good Idea.


_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#361228 - 05/02/11 12:06 AM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Napoleon]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Its the T that I'm concerned with. Sorry for the confusion. His business (being the therapy center), is what I'm concerned with. I would not want to bring the wrath of the PIGs or negative press anywhere near the T Center. It plays a VERY special role in the area.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#361229 - 05/02/11 12:09 AM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Still]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
Ok, so here is my question, did you bring it on the center, or did the police?

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#361232 - 05/02/11 12:24 AM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Napoleon]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
The police. They were sitting accross from the center when I arrived...staring right at the center. They showed back up in a flurry as I was getting in my car after group.

They are definetly after something, given the BS about thinking I was walking into a Day Care with a gun.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#361234 - 05/02/11 12:26 AM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Still]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
That's ugly. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

They should be protecting and respecting you, not threatening you at gunpoint after your therapy session. That is totally disrespectful.

I would file a complaint.


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#361235 - 05/02/11 12:29 AM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: risingagain]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Also, the police are often poorly equipped to heal from their own trauma after dealing with so much crime on a daily basis. They deserve our compassion and respect for the service they do.

(Yeah, I've been fucked up by a few cops too- at gunpoint- so I know a bit about that).

You are rightfully angry, but you're not likely to get anywhere if you lash out at the cops.

In fact, you might just fuck up your healing. Royally.


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#361262 - 05/02/11 09:56 AM Re: Pigs being Pigs? or something else??? [Re: Still]
expom Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 126
Loc: Australia
Robbie I agree with you that it is a difficult process. But I also believe that we are coming into a period of history that will be 'our time'. There is a growing groundswell of men - like you and me - who have had to endure what no human child should have to endure that are starting to say "I will be heard".

Nearly 2 years ago - whilst I was watching my wife wither in front of my eyes because her soul was being tortured by not knowing how she could help me in my recovery process - I realised that there were no services here in this part of Australia that were designed to help couples in our situation to find new ways of dealing with life so that there was a greater chance of us staying together.

We approached my counselor; we wrote out a proposal for a day long couple's workshop. He took it to his boss who agreed to fund it as long as we found at least 5 couples. We did. The event went ahead with good success. We wrote up that workshop and submitted it to the Male survivor conference - it was accepted. It was the first presentation ever to be fronted by an adult male survivor of sexual child abuse, his spouse and his counsellor.

Our Pastor allowed us to use the church facilities and ensured that all the other church users knew that we had EXCLUSIVE use of the church for the day - guaranteed no interruptions.

After the New York conference our Pastor interviewed my wife and I in church one Sunday morning for about 10 minutes. Since then I have had 5 adult male church members come to me privately and tell me that they too had been abused whilst boys and that I was the on of the first they had told about it.

On the opening page of the MS website there is a new ad on the featured documentaries section. "Back on Track" is one of the projects that I have been heavily involved in. If you get chance to down load it from the SECASA website, I am ADen in the doco.

At the launch of the documentary 16 members of my church congregation came to support it. Some of them bought their own copies and are passing them round.

I agree with you, brother, that human nature is never going to change but individuals do change - one at a time. As>
_________________________
I endured all my yesterdays. I prevail in all of my todays. I exercise my right to be able to enjoy my tomorrows. I choose not to do it alone.

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