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#360356 - 04/21/11 02:59 AM Response from immediate family members
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 945
Loc: southern California
I have 2 elder brothers, one is 7 years older, the other 11 years older than I. When I sent my father a letter in Feb. 2011 confronting him about his molesting and torturing my sister and I throughout our childhood for his pleasure, I CC'd my brothers on the letter. I mailed a copy to each of them.
Not one of the 3 responded in any way. This has convinced me that my hunch is right, that all 3 of them know something they're not willing to talk about.
Is it me, or has anyone else experienced the silent treatment in response to your CSA?

_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#360374 - 04/21/11 08:54 AM Re: Response from immediate family members [Re: WriterKeith]
freddie Offline


Registered: 03/28/11
Posts: 42
Loc: California
Oh definitely. Some are too shallow, some are too secret, your best friends may not be of blood. I stay in control of the topic and do not blink........................................

_________________________
Freddie
__________________________________________________________

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#360378 - 04/21/11 10:45 AM Re: Response from immediate family members [Re: freddie]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
WK....saw that with the spouses family. T felt the likelyhood was they were victims too sadly and not strong enough or ready to confront the truth.

Keith, you open to sending a second letter? Maybe that draft of:

Dear Perp, EAT SH*T & DIE!

You are the writer, you'd know better about the right contect than me of course.....

Keith

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#360382 - 04/21/11 11:32 AM Re: Response from immediate family members [Re: kb8715]
ACRoberts Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 242
Loc: New Jersey (recently moved fro...
I totally relate to your situation. My sister was abused as well (I was there when it happened) and she has no memory of the events. I am sure that she has surpressed the memories in order to survive. As far as my family, when I told them the fact that I was abused (not by whom), their response was it was a long time ago and nothing can be done about it now. It is better to move forward and put it behind you. It is tough, but I have finally reached the point that they will never understand and will never be supportive. I have my friends and brother survivors who are my support in dealing with the issues.

_________________________
Allan
________________________
WOR Sequoia 2011--it has changed my life!

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#360384 - 04/21/11 02:22 PM Re: Response from immediate family members [Re: ACRoberts]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 727
Loc: NJ
Keith...my sibling would not acknowledge hiw wrongdoing..just tried to push me into a face to face situation..which I rejected..cause it's on my terms not his......nothing since.

I suspect others shame and issues are the reasons we dont get the acknowledgment that should come and we so deserve.

best,
H

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My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#360396 - 04/21/11 05:47 PM Re: Response from immediate family members [Re: Castle]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
My own abuse was "amnesic" for about 25 years. I had panic attacks all my life, and the triggers where things that should have reminded me of the abuse. I know, my subconscious has the ability to block out memories as a defense mechanism, but at a sub conscious level I knew. This is not a belief or a I learned it somewhere, I know from experience this to be true. I also know a girl who abused who had similar experiences. I can tell you from personal experience that it is possible for them to have no conscious memory of it.

My own experience also says that the worse the abuse, the less likely they are to remember it, even through logic may tell you otherwise. One of the other kids the perps son was abused with me says he can’t remember. Yet when I warned him not to leave his kids with his dad, his response was: “i definately don't leave my kids with him.” Again, he has no memory of it, but knows.

While not a relative, My perps son has stopped talking to me all together. So yes, got the silent treatment.

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#360753 - 04/25/11 11:44 PM Re: Response from immediate family members [Re: Napoleon]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 945
Loc: southern California
Thanks for sharing your experiences. Hmmm...sounds pretty clear cut. So it sounds like silence is someone's way of saying, I...
1) can't
2) won't
3) shouldn't

....talk about the abuse.

_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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