I've been wondering...could Same Sex Attraction urges be more powerful than "normal" sex urges?
The question came to my mind because male survivors usually give in to SSA, knowing they don't want it - therefore, the SSA urge must be deeply powerful (particularly when it breaks up a loving marriage).
I can think of only 3 urges to have normal sex: 1) procreation; 2) pleasure; 3) strengthening a relationship.
I've heard several
reasons why men give in to SSA; I can't think of all of them at present, but I believe Mike Lew (author of "Victims No Longer") suggested that one reason is in an effort to relive the abuse, perhaps with the unconscious idea of "rewriting" the outcome if the sex is not as abusive or even nonabusive.
Therefore, I think the major urge to give in to SSA is to fulfill a NEED (need for attention, affection, acceptance, etc.) which probably explains why some survivors returned to their abusers to be abused again and again.
This question should probably be asked of Dr. Kort, but I heard he was having technical difficulties. Dr. Kort, is there any way to "measure" sexual urges? To measure SSA against "normal" sexual urges? If this is virgin (no pun intended) territory, perhaps a measurement could be devised, and an award-winning paper be written? Who knows?
I appreciate any comments you guys would like to make. Thanks.
Your loving brother, as always,