I'm glad to be alive.

I watch this fiction on the BBC last night, it was TRIGGERING.

Abduction, sexual abuse, torture, murder of boys----- shouldn't have watched it....thought it was something else but.....

It was set in the area and time when I was there.
No matter how free and whole I get, I can never deny what I saw back in those days. I feel powerless to fight the evil. Broke away from London to get healing and always felt like I betrayed the other models and rent boys but I know I couldn't help them as I was in such a mess.

I don't know why I am alive and others are not.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b010gbsm/Waking_the_Dead_Series_9_Waterloo_Part_1/


anyway, I still feel powerless and Im hurting,

I'm being heard, healed, loved but what about them?

CJ

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Wolves will live with lambs. Leopards will lie down with goats. Calves, young lions, and year-old lambs will be together, and little children will lead them.