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#359189 - 04/09/11 10:14 PM Ladies' encouragement thread :-)
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Okay, I said we should start one, so here it is. "This One's For the Girls" and I'm starting it with this one (you can't possibly not feel a little better watching this):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTowId2CWHA

Survivors feel free to post any appropriate encouragement if you think of something that would be good.



Edited by hope4him (04/09/11 10:14 PM)

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#359190 - 04/09/11 10:16 PM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: hopeandtry]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
And I guess I should mention, this is supposed to be an upbeat, cheerful thread, so please keep it that way!


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#359274 - 04/10/11 09:29 PM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: hopeandtry]
Lost Spark Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 73
Loc: Chicago, IL
Ladies,

This has been and will undoubtedly be my 'Theme Song' for a long time to come... When I finally realized to myself, that I needed to put myself first and be better, not for him, but for myself.. Someday... Someday, my husband's and my path with cross again.. Who knows.. But, this song, gives me hope. Always.

Love to you all, my Sisters in this journey... And especially our brave Survivors.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWOyfLBYtuU

Lost Spark

_________________________
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life." - John Lennon

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#359279 - 04/10/11 10:44 PM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: Lost Spark]
SunnyGirl Offline


Registered: 07/13/10
Posts: 79
I'm partial to the Glee Version but definitely a good pick Lost Spark. "You can't carry it with you if you want to survive." Love it!

We're all secondary survivors who have been touched and affected by the abuse of those we love and care for. It is hard, but all supporters eventually need to all reach the point where we accept that we can't heal the survivors in our lives. Though this song is not meant to address SA, that is what I hear in it. I think it has a good message to supporters who have good intentions, but are still trying to get to the realization that it's up to the survivor to save himself: Get It Right.

And then once you've reached that point where you know you can't save him, it sucks. It's depressing. You wonder how you can go on with your life. What is the point when this man you love is hurting? But that is exactly when you are ready to focus the attention back on you. So that's when you're ready for the Pep Talk.

A lot of us have been dragged through what feels like hell, but it can get better. You are the only one who can change things in your own life. No one is going to swoop down and save you. So when you are ready, start making changes. Baby steps. And eventually it gets easier as you realize that the status quo isn't working for you and the only way to improve things is through change. It's scary to be sure, but change is the only path forward towards finding happiness again. Let yourself dream. Make a list of those dreams and then when you're able, start checking them off. Empower yourself.

SunnyGirl

_________________________
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." - H. Keller

"Change & growth take place when a person has risked himself & dares to become involved w/ experimenting w/ his own life." - H. Otto

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#359288 - 04/10/11 11:53 PM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: SunnyGirl]
Lost Spark Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 73
Loc: Chicago, IL
SunnyGirl,

I LOVE the Glee version also!!! Their carefree rendition touches me.. It makes me want to dance my cares away and really just 'let go..'

Lost Spark

_________________________
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life." - John Lennon

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#359442 - 04/12/11 04:25 PM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: Lost Spark]
aloved1 Offline


Registered: 02/22/11
Posts: 65
Loc: Texas
hope4him and lost spark...Thank you!! There are no words for the encouragement found on this site! I am so grateful.

Haven't posted in awhile because my b/f is currently triggered and once again, I'm left to wrap my head around the crises. But I have found that I am taking better care of myself this time around and these songs have certainly lifted my spirits today.

Blessings to you all!!!


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#359443 - 04/12/11 04:36 PM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: aloved1]
aloved1 Offline


Registered: 02/22/11
Posts: 65
Loc: Texas
P.S. Here's my contribution to the encouragement wink As hard and bouncy as it gets, I, too, like the roller coaster!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1h_hmdVJAc


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#359508 - 04/13/11 03:19 AM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: aloved1]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Love the roller coaster clip. It's so true...life can be so scary but it's better than going around and around and around and around.


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#359538 - 04/13/11 11:05 AM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: hopeandtry]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
I love the sentiment behind this thread and the self-care and support it brings to the women who are partners of survivors. Being a survivor is hard, but being the partner of a survivor has it's own unique challenges. Let's keep the encouragement and support flowing!

I just wish it was for partners of *all* male survivors.

Gay men are among those fighting for their equal rights and their lives in legislatures, in courts, and on the streets. Gay men and boys are sexually abused and raped. Gay men are being demonized and blamed for the sexual abuse crisis in churches.

It's isolating, it's shaming, it's stigmatizing, and it's what the men who love male survivors have to put up with every day - being publicly blamed for the abuse of the person they love. Imagine how you would feel if all women were scapegoated in this same way.

The men who are our partners also need encouragement.

Here's my contribution this thread. If there is something that says totally improbable and completely heartwarming more than this clip, I don't know what it is:



-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#359691 - 04/14/11 07:32 PM Re: Ladies' encouragement thread :-) [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
Lost Spark Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 73
Loc: Chicago, IL
This song has become a personal favorite of mine... Very therapeutic. Everytime I listen to it, I feel a little piece of me begin to heal. It's haunting, but so beautifully expressed...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw


Lost Spark

_________________________
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life." - John Lennon

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