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#359177 - 04/09/11 08:58 PM slow motion
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Brothers, in recovery.

I have "hit" a patch of personal despair that I have never known and goes very deep.

I am having lots of horrible "memories". I hate going to sleep at night. Anyone else experience this?

I was hearing "voices" up until just a very days ago. Anyone else experience this?

I abandoned work as I was NOT feeling well. I am scared as I am not sure of my next step(s).

Donnie.

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#359216 - 04/10/11 12:31 AM Re: slow motion [Re: Avery46]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Avery46
Brothers, in recovery.

I have "hit" a patch of personal despair that I have never known and goes very deep.

I am very sorry that you are suffering like that.
Originally Posted By: Avery46

I am having lots of horrible "memories". I hate going to sleep at night. Anyone else experience this?

Donnie, I know you went through some terrible stuff. I hope that you have a therapist who will help you to talk that out so that you can resolve some of the hurt. The idea is that if we can talk it out and share it with another person that you don't have to bear that within yourself. I know you can never change what happened, but it doesn't always have to hurt so bad.
Originally Posted By: Avery46

I was hearing "voices" up until just a very days ago. Anyone else experience this?

Just a suggestion: Hearing voices is a diagnostic criterion for DID. Have the people who are helping you considered this? I know there are other guys who come here to MS who have DID and who hear voices. I will leave it to them to identify themselves. DID is actually capable of resolution whereas some other conditions are not.

The way that I have experienced this as far as I can remember is in arguing with myself. It's as though I'm before a judge who is accusing me and I'm trying to answer him, but all within my own mind.
Originally Posted By: Avery46

I abandoned work as I was NOT feeling well. I am scared as I am not sure of my next step(s).

Donnie.

I'm so very glad to hear from you. I hope I can work with you in whatever way to help you resolve this situation.


Allen


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#359217 - 04/10/11 12:50 AM Re: slow motion [Re: Avery46]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
Originally Posted By: Avery46
Brothers, in recovery.
I have "hit" a patch of personal despair that I have never known and goes very deep.
I am having lots of horrible "memories". I hate going to sleep at night. Anyone else experience this?

I have also hit a patch of despair that seems to temporarily resolved by directing it at my abuser. I completely agree with the hate going to sleep. Sleep is when the nightmares begin.
Originally Posted By: Avery46
I abandoned work as I was NOT feeling well.

Done this both before with panic attacks, and now they have evolved into flash backs.

You are not alone.


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#359218 - 04/10/11 12:52 AM Re: slow motion [Re: pufferfish]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
Hey Donnie,

I can relate with your horrible memories and yes it's hard to go to sleep at night. I never imagined that my early abuse was so violent so it's really hard to process. But I've ignored my recovery far too long. This is a time during which we need a lot of support; Professional, the people in here, your doctor...........
I paint and draw , you might wanna give that a try. Just sit with a pencil and a blank paper and start. It work for me up to a pint.
I am having a hard time getting out of the house these days, being in loud public places, But i figure that it's all part of the process. I'm trying to face it however scary it is. I am hoping that over time these images and flashes will be less invasive and more manageable.

I hope this helps a little man.
Be well,

Anthony

_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

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#359243 - 04/10/11 12:36 PM Re: slow motion [Re: Anthony39]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Donnie,

I would assume all hit patches and spots like this in life and in recovery. What we have to fight against is the nagging thought(s) that we will never get through them. That there are not brighter and better days for us. I know that is one of my major faults - reacting and not responding when I get hit like that.

I try to pull back and sit still long enough to tell myself that this will not last forever. Just like it came it will leave. And then if that calms me I can look to see what message I need to see. And decide if I am really ready to see it.

I like Anthony's suggestions. Do something to distract yourself and see what might come from a mind that is not focusing on the bad that is hitting you so hard right now.

I hope for much better days ahead of you very soon.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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