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#359132 - 04/09/11 02:59 PM Very tired after all the fighting through this
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Okay, I don't really know what else to do right now so I'm venting here.

I. am. tired. I am tired, but I am also worried about my ex. I know I'm supposed to take care of myself and I think everyone here who knows me knows that I have put a lot of effort into doing so. I've just been at a breaking point this week where now I just don't feel like trying to do the "right" or healthy thing. I can't say I want to do the unhealthy thing either, I just flat out don't want to try to figure anything out.

I am very worried about my ex. Things are escalating in his life to a point that could cause a lot of damage to him (and others of course). I have tried very hard to detach from it and let him do his thing, but sometimes I just feel too weak to do so. I want a break. Not a break from him, but just a break from trying to be superwoman all the time. I want to be allowed to worry about him, because I AM worried about him.

I know this will pass and I will feel stronger later, but sometimes you just have to break down and say "I cannot maintain a strong attitude all the time." I feel I've done really well over the last few months in comparison to the past. REALLY well. The last week has been rough in my own life (not even stuff with my ex) and so I know that is making things worse in terms of me feeling emotional. I want to take a vacation from life. I want to go hide in the woods or something and just commune with nature (and trust me, as soon as vacation gets here in May, that's exactly what my butt will be doing).

Argggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I just want someone to fix it and make it better!!!!! I'm tired of watching him hurt so damn much!!!! I'm tired of trying to take care of myself when I know he is in so much pain!!!!!!!!!


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#359136 - 04/09/11 03:36 PM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: hopeandtry]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6573
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
I know.

And you don't need to explain or justify yourself. Thank you so much for caring about one of us. You amaze me.

_________________________
You are using 118 of the 300 allowed characters.

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#359137 - 04/09/11 03:51 PM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: Still]
Lost Spark Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 73
Loc: Chicago, IL
hope4him...

Walk away... Take a break. You cannot help those who cannot help themselves at this moment. I know. My god, I know it hurts. Trust me. I'm there. I'm going through it. RIGHT NOW.

Love yourself, first. Who else will? If they can't love themselves, and harm themselves, how could they even possibly love you at this moment?

You are the MOST IMPORTANT person in this world right now... His pain is HIS pain... I know it's selfish to say, but it is. The only way anyone can ever finally realize they need to be 'saved' or helped, is by them alone. Otherwise, it falls on deaf ears. They may 'hear' you, but do they really, HEAR you..?

Step back. Take a breath. Love yourself first and heal you. It's needed. You deserve it. You have done more than above and beyond... You are more woman than the average woman for doing what you have done. Others would have walked away, instantly.. We though, have something stronger that kept us here. Unfortunately, now we need healing.

Robbie,

I hope you're staying strong...

Picking up the pieces is the sh*ttiest part of life. I hate it. But, damn it, it's possible. Someday. Somehow. It will get better and there will be another door to open and peek into. And when you do, you'll never want to walk back into the last room you were in. Promise.

Stay strong my loves...

Lost Spark
*still healing*

_________________________
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life." - John Lennon

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#359138 - 04/09/11 03:59 PM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: Lost Spark]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
@Robbie, thanks. And Lost Spark, I know I need to care for myself. It's just been one of those weeks. I think I need to break down before I can build myself up again, if that makes sense. Uggghh. I hope you are doing okay.


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#359170 - 04/09/11 08:43 PM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: hopeandtry]
SunnyGirl Offline


Registered: 07/13/10
Posts: 79
Hope,
Watch this link: because this is what I'd say to you.

Let's go!!

SunnyGirl

_________________________
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." - H. Keller

"Change & growth take place when a person has risked himself & dares to become involved w/ experimenting w/ his own life." - H. Otto

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#359187 - 04/09/11 10:07 PM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: SunnyGirl]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Awww that is some of the most thoughtful encouragement I've gotten. Thanks so much! I was just thinking, maybe we should start a women's encouragement thread where we can post clips and songs and stuff like that.


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#359188 - 04/09/11 10:09 PM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: hopeandtry]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
And how many Red Bulls did you have when you posted that? LOL


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#359204 - 04/09/11 11:41 PM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: hopeandtry]
SunnyGirl Offline


Registered: 07/13/10
Posts: 79
"I've had about three Red Bulls in the last 15 minutes and I feel fabulous!"

Watching it like 3 times in a row will pep you up without fail even without Red Bull. I love how Katherine Heigel just laughs when the pep talk is over.

_________________________
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." - H. Keller

"Change & growth take place when a person has risked himself & dares to become involved w/ experimenting w/ his own life." - H. Otto

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#359215 - 04/10/11 12:25 AM Re: Very tired after all the fighting through this [Re: SunnyGirl]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
I love how she says "I hate you." lol...I have thought that so many times when my friends try to cheer me up and I know they are right but I just want to be grumpy, damnit. :-)


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