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#35897 - 11/11/02 11:21 PM Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
I have four related questions about this topic. These questions are addressed to any and all members of Male Survivor.

First, are there any support groups for male survivors anywhere within a couple of hours or so of Clinton NC?

Second, are there any other male survivors in this area that any of you know of who have in some way expressed interest in having a group started?

Third, are there any materials anyone could recommend for use by a male survivor support group?

Fourth, could materials put together for use in starting support groups for male survivor, perhaps even Male Survivor support groups, that could possibly be connected with & somehow resourced by Male Survivor?

I put this on this forum rather than classifed or events becuz I wanted to narrow down my location & target area while still maintaining some degree of geographical anonymity.

Any insights, help, suggestions, etc are appreciated. I'd really like to find a way to somehow be a part of a live support group just for male survivors. Thanks.

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35898 - 11/12/02 02:01 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Hi Freevoice & thanks for your reply.

I did post in your forum before, so that probably was me.

My concern in posting this one there is that it is a public forum and this gives more identifying info about my location than I'm willing to divulge on a public forum at this time.

I'm trying to narrow things down, and would really like to in some way have a support group around here. The closer the better due to my chronic pain, but it would be worth doing some driving for.

Maybe in time I'll feel free to post this in classifieds. Either way I hope I can find something soon. Think it would be very helpful for me & for many others I'm sure are around here if we could just let them know a meeting is available.

TTYL

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35899 - 11/15/02 06:12 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Vic,

Your question has a good idea in it. I am not certain what a "starters group packet" would contain. I did it once for AA and they have a large package of materials they send.

It seems we would need to ask ourselves what we need and then perhaps some of the creative guyus here can come up with some ideas, especially guys who are already in a men's group or a survivors group.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#35900 - 11/15/02 06:53 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Bob:

Good idea. At least have some materials to work with. I might even start a group myself. Kinda unsure if I should do that not having been in one yet myself (for survivors, that is). But...

Anyway, such materials could be a great service to male survivors everywhere. And a unique one.

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35901 - 11/15/02 07:41 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Include me in this, groups are hard to find here and I'm on the edge of a very big town and only an hour away from Birmingham, our second city.

The charity I help out at has had trouble starting mens groups and haven't had one for about three years, although womens groups seem fairly common.

A lot of the information about facilitating groups could be gained from the tons of management junk that the guru's put out all the time, most of that is just the same common sense stuff wrapped up in the latest jargon. But it's a good source of basic group working and dynamics.

Other than that, just steal the methods off AA !

Dave \:D

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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#35902 - 11/15/02 09:08 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Dave:

Same here. The closest few survivor groups are a few hours away and pretty much "women only."

You mentioned stealing the methods of AA. Well,
"Male Survivors: 12-Step Recovery Program for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse: With Exercises for Personal Growth" by Timothy L. Sanders is out of print, but available in our bookstore thru Amazon.com, new or used, from $3.88 up. I got a copy last year and think that tho a bit dated its an excellent book and could easily be adapted, supplemented & updated with more current materials.

SIA (Survivors of Incest Anonymous) & ISA (Incest Survivors Anonymous) both have starter kits with some good materials, mostly pamphlets & booklets, that could at least be drawn upon.

I'm speaking out of personal need & desire I know. But male survivor groups, and resources, are desperately needed around the world, and no one is equipped to meet this need like Male Survivor. Ambitious projects yes, but we are after all survivors! ;\)

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35903 - 11/16/02 10:25 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Freevoice:

Thanks. Already tried Survivors of Incest Anonymous, tho it was approaching a year ago. A quick search of RAINN yielded no results. I'll keep trying & checking out all my options.

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35904 - 11/17/02 06:34 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Thanks Freevoice.

I have checked those & just checked them again. Still nothing off a quick check. I'll keep trying. Thanks for your continuing work on this.

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35905 - 11/26/02 07:25 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
I'm bumping this post & this matter back up becuz it remains a matter of great concern to me, even on a personal level. I'm really feeling the need for a live support group to take further steps in my recovery, including my disclosure.

At this point I'm willing to be a local starter if MS can provide some materials & pointers, and let me know about any male survivors who might be in this area (even a 2-3 hour radius of Clinton).

Bob mentioned a starter packet. Could we start work on something like that? I'm willing to help, even work on materials if need be.

I'm going to keep looking for possible groups but my contacts & resources are limited so I appreciate any help.

I'd also prefer this be a part of MS, maybe one of many MS groups that could start popping up all across the U.S. & around the world. This could expand & enhance the exposure, and thus the mission & ministry of MS, tremendously.

Big idea, I know. Right now I'd just love to have a group here. Male survivors only if possible, if not mixed. But an MS group. I guess I just love MS! \:D

So what about it, everybody?

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35906 - 11/26/02 10:25 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Hi Vic:
We have talked about info packets for survivors, sig others, and the media, for a long time. I think that there could be a printed version that could be sent out to new members as well as folks just looking for some info. We could also do an e-version for inquiries over the web.

One way to do this is to begin collecting info that we have on the website as well as good pieces that are in our linked sites. For example, suppose someone wanted info on "immediate and long term effects of sexual abuse on males". If we had a collection of articles and websites that addressed this issue, it could be listed as a resource packet on the website somewhere. Ditto for other topics that some of our regulars here might recommend. The sky is the limit when it comes to the e-versions. It's more costly and maybe space-prohibitive to have our admin asst. Trisha collect and mail all that stuff, but if we go electronic, we could provide many categories of info.

All we need is volunteers and a way to collate the collections of info. Afterall, knowledge is power.
Ken


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#35907 - 11/26/02 10:26 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
PS... This could be a good project for those who want to join but don't have the money... sweat equity.
Ken


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#35908 - 11/26/02 10:35 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
I am in a rush so I can't check it our myself, BUT, I think http://www.menstuff.com has stuff for starting mens groups in general.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#35909 - 11/27/02 12:56 AM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Ken--Thanks good idea. I'm willing to help with it. Of course I'd want to give priority to people needing a sweat equity membership. That's a great idea, too. Maybe we could let people know if we make such sweat equity work available.

Bob: Thanks I'll check into that when I get the chance. I've thot of just starting a men's group & seeing where it goes. There was a story kind of about that in the latest Men Speak Out.

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35910 - 12/16/02 11:08 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Yesterday I went to Google and typed:
self-help groups+guidelines
I got 10 or 12 pages of things, some of it very helpful.

I will follow up on it during the vacation coming up.
Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#35911 - 12/17/02 12:03 AM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Cool, thanks! I'll try to look into more after vacation, as I will have little computer access while I'm away.

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35912 - 01/03/03 12:38 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Just wanted to bring this back up. I know we're busy here with a lot of other stuff right now. But I'm wondering if anybody has anymore info or insights about any of this.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35913 - 01/03/03 06:55 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Glad you did bump this back up Victor,

As Ken posted
Quote:
... All we need is volunteers and a way to collate the collections of info. Afterall, knowledge is power.
Ken
I couldn't agree more that this web site/ms organization needs to broaden it's depth of information available, as well as working on reaching out to other survivors in need. I'm starting to do what I can along these lines.

Maybe this post could be moved to the public forum (not sure if it's there or not)?

-jer


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#35914 - 01/03/03 09:47 PM Re: Male Survivor Support Groups
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Thanks Jer!

I guess much of this could be posted on the public forum, but at this point I'm still hesitant to be too specific about my location there. Certainly 3 & 4 I would think could be posted there.

Your help & support is sure appreciated!

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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