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#358839 - 04/07/11 12:48 AM Terrorize my abuser?
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
I am trying to figure out how to confront my abuser.

There is movie that involves some CSA victims that turn into adults and then get even with their abusers. They where abused in a “detention center”. A few of the CSA victims run into him in a store and kill him. Another victim becomes the prosecutor and helps them beat the charges. What is the name of this movie?

Naturally this was a trigger for me and I can’t remember the name of the movie. I didn’t know what a trigger was when I watched the movie, the memories where amnesic. I had a panic attack during the movie. I have had panic attacks most my life just didn’t know the cause. Then after kicking the shit out a pedophile, the full flash backs started.
My abuser took pictures with a Polaroid camera of the things he did to us. I know that he abused many more than me, and abused a lot more before he lived near me. I know a few others, but I am one of the few that ever knew who the others where. Some of them don’t even know they were abused because of the way he concealed it.

He has never been prosecuted. I was thinking of sending that movie along with a Polaroid. The Polaroid would be a picture of the text “we kn.ow who you are, and we are com.ing for you.” I would use cut outs of letters from the paper.

Keep in mind that I have no chance to prosecute my abuser because of statute of limitations. I have no intent on doing anything illegal, the intent is to terrorize him as he did to me. I don’t have to face him. He doesn’t get the opportunity to really deny, or lie or anything. What do think? Crossing the line? Legal Issues?

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#358842 - 04/07/11 01:06 AM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: Napoleon]
Moortje Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 104
Loc: Oregon
I can't imagine doing such a thing would be in any way wise, or productive to healing.

I understand the motivation though.

~Matty


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#358845 - 04/07/11 01:31 AM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: Moortje]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
.



Edited by user2007 (04/23/11 11:47 PM)
_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#358846 - 04/07/11 01:43 AM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: Moortje]
Shadow+Walker Offline


Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 287
Loc: desolate foggy nights, USA
Napolean,
Are you thinking of the movie "Mystic River"?

Hhmmmmm, intriguing thought...Did your perpetrator ever live in Colorado before your encounter with him? My perpetrator liked photography too but instant cameras weren't invented yet. However, I can't support actually conspiring to carry out such an activity, as making threats and intimidations are illegal in most places.

I have thought about trying to identify my perpetrator and outing him to the Feds in hopes that he can be caught on current charges of possesion of child pornography. After sentencing, I would have him posed handcuffed being escorted by police officer friends of mine, standing in front of the judge with the evidence stacked up in front of him in boxes; I would take his photo while asking him,"How's it gonna go for a child molester in prison?". That would be a sweet justice, I think.
Peace,
Shadow+Walker

_________________________
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self discipline. (St Paul, 2Timothy 1:7) NIV

Check out a cool song by a hot band..."Unbreakable" by Fireflight: official video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWRJAHaOrYg

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#358883 - 04/07/11 09:52 AM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: Shadow+Walker]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
There is a certain amount of satisfaction in the thought of bringing justice, even "seven times more" than justice to the abuser.

However, as brought out here, this type of anticipated vengeful torment of the perpetrator is dangerous and debilitating to the victim. It can lead to acting out and illegal activity that destroys the present recovery of the survivor.

There is a healthy process to confrontation. Please pursue this process here in MS as described by our own Ken Singer LCSW here @ http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer3.html. This does not preclude professional therapy, but it does help us to understand what we need to bring about healthy change in our perspective and move us away from abuse controls.

Peace and recovery,
Sam



_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#358909 - 04/07/11 02:20 PM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: SamV]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 982
Loc: HULBERT OK
You can file a civil court case aginst him . In other words You can not file criminal charges. But You can sue him for personal dammages that he caused to you . The Statude of Limations is difrent in difrent states.
Texas Has no statude of limitations . When It comes to Sexual Crimes .
Because this Piece Of Shit . Should have to pay for what he did.

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#358949 - 04/08/11 12:48 AM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: user2007]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
JMcCormick, I have decided against this course of action. Mostly because of your point “not be able to see the reaction.”

Shadow, Don’t know where he lived before only know kids where also molested there because of a conversation with his children, I still remember. It would be in 1983-1984. I will find out in time, I know where the answers are, just not ready to seek them.

Mike, I am not sure on the civil court case, currently there may be some issues proofing it was him because the way he concealed it. I know where to find this proof in time, just not ready to seek it.

I am quite willing to wait tell I am more emotionally stable than I am now. I grew up in a small town. Everyone knew everyone. I already went to search for answerers. I didn’t know his name, and now I do. However he disappeared right after the abuse, ane I thought he went to jail. Except when I went looking for answers I found that he moved, and never went to jail. I was not ready for that information...

I have a little time to plot my revenge. I would be in no hurry, except that I am concerned that he may have access to children. I am thinking of do in a way that is very public, and so the whole town knows, the whole town in a town where everyone knows everyone…

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#358954 - 04/08/11 01:07 AM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: user2007]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
The movie Sleepers is based on a book which supposedly is based on a true story. In Sleepers, 3 of the original 4 were killed in the act of taking revenge. The 4th wrote the book. (I think my memory is correct on this).

Allen


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#358960 - 04/08/11 01:28 AM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: pufferfish]
AverageMan Offline


Registered: 02/13/11
Posts: 13
There is no more sweet revenge than justice?

I am sure his is still up to his old ways. He probably has hidden kiddie porn on his computer, maybe still looking for victims?

Why not just walk into the police department in his community and tell them what they did to you? Or write a letter?

Maybe the police would investigate him and find stuff they could use against him? There are special internet investigators now a days to investigate stuff like this (I think).


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#359035 - 04/08/11 06:59 PM Re: Terrorize my abuser? [Re: AverageMan]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
Unfortunately our laws are written to protect law breakers, not victims. You are an optimist. Walk into the police department… If it was only that easy... First of all the police department where he is, has no jurisdiction. It is where it happened that has jurisdiction.

These memories began appearing after I lost my cool, and beat the living heck out of my roommate who I had recently discovered was pedophiles. Actually I tried to kill him. Great therapy by the way, I would suggest that anyone who has been abused try it. It can be expensive however I will warn you, attorneys, and fines and probation is expensive. You may want to try normal therapy, it’s a lot cheaper.

The First person I talked to about this (outside my immediate family), was one of the two city cops, that where cops back when it happened. (Small town makes this easier to investigate) He suggested I called first, and gave a number to a detective who was still a detective. After several calls I was referred to the detective who currently serves where it happened. I have been to the police department. I have called repeatedly to speak with the detective and follow through with the case. Last time he told me not to call him back, he would call me. He promised to call me within a few weeks. That was 5 months ago still haven’t heard back from him.

You are an optimist to think this could be solved by just walking into the police station. The police can’t do anything, look at the news. The good news is that my abuser was not a priest continuing to abusing kids daily. I don’t think I could live with that.

_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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