I appreciate the guys who posted this on facebook. It really is a pretty good article and has some excellent points - some tragically so.

http://www.newsweek.com/2011/04/03/the-military-s-secret-shame.html

Thank you for that article.



This is a sociopathic response.

Allen

Allen,

That is the reply of one who has acted in a criminal way or covered up the crimes of another for the sake of convienance. Which then becomes criminal in and of itself.

How can one provoke others to rape him?

That was the response i got when i reported my rapes too...that i was the cause ...that i must have acted gay...

Wow! What an eye opener. I thought this only happened in the Catholic church, when after reporting the abuse, they make you feel as if you are the one to have provoked it. And perpetrators are being protected by their superiors including the Pope himself and they are running free as if they never did anything and perhaps hurting even more innocent children...

Thank you for sharing this article with us.

No, it happens in many places - victims re-victimized. Through my work I am part of a SART (Sexual Assault Response Team). I have had to see up close and personal the trials of those trying to report. Our job is not to assess whether or not someone has been sexually violated in some way but simply to assist them. To comfort as best we can and get them the aid they need. Whatever that aid me include. And to work with the local law enforcement agencies/public service areas.

It is amazing the road blocks we used to run into with certain folks and the attitudes we encountered. Some team members thought it was their job to question and investigate to their satisfaction and then file reports or contact the authorities. Meanwhile the victim is left to gather more self doubt all the while.

And if it is a male? I could write a book about that from my years on this team.

No, it is not just in one area that this exists. Cover ups are more palatable for most entities/organizations.

This is so true Daryl,

When my daughter reported her sexaual assualt the damaged done through the process of reporting, the lawyers, church officials and police was nearly as crushing as the event itself. I know that the police had to do their job they way they did and I hold no ill will. But the church bishops thier actions were unforgivable! (I'm not beating up on the church just giving support to how the groups becomes a gang against victims out of fear of reprisal.

Thanks Daryl for posting this link it was extremely difficult to read yet in some strange way, I hate to admit it, comforting. Earlybird

I had no idea you had to do that as part of your job, Daryl. So you have encountered other men who were raped before, but weren't in a position to share your own experience? I don't know how you do it. That would hit way close to home for me, at least in this point in my recovery. You are a brave soul. Even though your organization is not perfect and groups are subjected to human frailty despite the good intentions, groups like that can also do a lot of good and I am sure you have helped many people over the years.

I also found the article comforting in kind of a strange way. I'm not comforted that our men fighting in the military are being assaulted, but it is a comfort to me that this information is getting out there in a more mainstream news magazine, not just some fringe publication. I can see how being raped by a pair or group that collaborated to do the act would significantly inhibit one's ability to feel safe in groups. The fact that this church failed you in so many ways is even more of an insult to your injury.

The part of the article that most resonated with me was the part where they expressed that rape is violence, and that most men who commit rape are actually heterosexual. I found out, at one point, that my rapist/assailant had a wife and kids. And yet, I still beat myself up over feelings of guilt over "cheating" on my wife with him even though I wanted NONE of it and I would have gotten the hell out of there if there was any way. I would have. He is the cheater and the fornicator... I often wonder why he looked at me, in the hospital and would want to do that to a man, even though he was straight. And what kind of "high" would he get out of overpowering someone with no defenses? I guess I'll never know but I wish more people out there could understand that it isn't sex and it never will ne sex.

Peter,

No, I have never worked with an adult male who was assaulted. This is a possibility since I do work with some young adults but mostly teens. The team I am on is not a community one but just through the center where I work.

I did not state myself very well earlier. I have attended conferences and trainings since it is mandatory I am on this team. I have listened to some of my counterparts and the attitude sucks big time toward adult male rape. Even at my work if a male were raped I believe it would be immediately questioned. Questioned as a sexual encounter later regretted. That is not guesswork on my part. I know how some of my co-workers think.

Sorry for the rant there - very sore issue with me. I once got very radical in one meeting with a psychologist. Later one woman asked me why I was so upset. I said the difference with attitudes towards female and male adolescents really pisses me off. She nodded in understanding. I looked like a bit of a hothead but I can live with that. Not like I actually jumped across the tabble and hit the guy.

Somedays...