Please help. I am not sure if this is the right place or not, but here it goes. I am a 35 year old female involved with the same age man. We have been together for a year now and he has asked me to marry him. I have been worried for some time now that something is not right. When we first got together we were very active sexually. At times I noticed he could be rough, but I was attracted to it. As time has gone on he has lost all interest in me sexually. If and when we do have sex he does not have an orgasm unless he does it for himself. I have tried talking about it and all I get is the standard response, it's not me. We go weeks and even months without anything at all. He says he loves me and enjoys spending time with me and just "being" with me. He says to give it time and it will fix itself. One of the responses I got was it was something new when we first started seeing each other. I didn't know how to respond. I know for a fact this has been an issue for him in other relationships. I love him and my kids adore him, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. It hurts!!

Worried Mamma,

I'm sorry for the pain you are going through right now. Your post doesn't state anything to do with childhood sexual abuse. Has he ever mentioned or intimated that he was abused as a child? Have you suspected that this happened? You say you "have been worried for some time now that something is not right." Do you think it has to do with sexual abuse? It's difficult to dive into any issues at play here, since it is not clear what we are dealing with. Thanks for you post, and I hope you can find some peace and solace soon.

~Paul