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#358121 - 03/30/11 05:37 PM Weekend of recovery (WOR)
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
I have posted this message in three different places, but I just want to make sure I drive the point... LOL Excuse my redundancy. smile

I attended the Sequoia 2011 WOR this past weekend in Santa Cruz, CA as well, and as one of the brothers that attended the WOR put it, it was like getting a year's worth therapy in one weekend.

The transformation I witnessed in every single one of the 28 brothers that attended was amazing. I too experienced that transformation in myself as this was one of the best experiences of my life.

I'd like to say to all of you, that if you are thinking on attending a WOR and have any reservations about it, don't. hesitate to go, because you will experience something that is not possible to explain with words. Go ahead and attend if you can. Also, keep in mind that there are scholarships available for those that can't afford it, look for the information in the home page under Weekend of Recovery, in the drop down menu choose the WOR you'd like to attend and fill out the application for scholarship form.

you can also make monetary donations if you are in the position to do so, so that any of our brothers unable to attend due to difficulty paying for the fees can have the opportunity to attend.

Thanks,

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#358124 - 03/30/11 06:54 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: Czaesar72]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
I agree one-hundred-thousand percent.
I attended the WoR in southern Ohio in the fall of 2010.
I am still DAILY reaping the rewards of that single weekend.

"ditto" everything Czaesar72 said!

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#358154 - 03/31/11 12:50 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: EvanCan]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
I'm glad you were also able to experience that. I believe this has completely change my life forever, I won't be the same person anymore... I can't; I've been transformed!

Take care, smile

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#358157 - 03/31/11 12:59 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: EvanCan]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Since I expressed my doubts before the weekend I want to take a chance to say my perspective now that I completed it...

Several times I almost turned back. I remember as we were arriving feeling nauseous. When we arrived, I didn't want to talk to anyone. It seemed awkward.

But what followed was the most exquisite and respectful setting up of safety, honoring each of us, and gradually building trust right up to telling our stories.... which was so powerful, so healing, so bonding, so right.... this weekend will be with me forever. It brings tears to my eyes.

The stories were gut wrenching to hear, but the whole time I felt something I have never felt before. .. it's hard to even describe. An eerie feeling, where every guy I looked at I just knew, I just knew that they knew my pain.

It all came to an amazing and tender night when we ended up playing together like little boys, like long lost little boys yearning and finally finding a tribe. I smiled at all the other men, all the little boys inside them which they graced me with, by showing me that side of them.

I have never felt so seen.

It was the best experience I have probably ever had.

I didn't want to leave. I felt that I had made bonds so deep, heard stories so gut-busting and so real and tender, i just wanted to love all the guys, to be there and support them and be supported.


but i got on the plane back to Canada and I wrote this to my mens' group:

> Brothers,
> >
> > I wanted to share something with you. I just got back from
> > the WoR for survivors of sexual abuse in the redwood forest
> > near Santa Cruz.
> >
> > I have never felt so seen in my life.
> >
> > I will never again doubt the horrific prevalence of
> > childhood sexual abuse, nor will I ever doubt that it
> > happened to me. With this awareness, and a deep reckoning
> > for the cost , the great cost, it has been for my life... I
> > am here today to step forward as a survivor of bi-parent
> > incest and as a man of healing and strength.
> >
> > I have never felt so seen in my life.
> >
> > You guys helped me get to this place, with the NWTA where I
> > first owned some of my wounds 4 years ago. This has been the
> > ride of my life.
>
> > I am declaring this my birthday, the birth
> > of the man I always wanted to be, but somehow couldn't.
>
> > It gets better.
> >
> > Here's a poem sent to me by a fellow participant:
> >
> > Love after love (by Derek Walcott)
> >
> >
> >
> > The time will come
> >
> > when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving
> >
> > at your own door, in your own mirror,
> >
> > and each will smile at the otherís welcome,
> >
> > and say, sit here. Eat.
> >
> >
> >
> > You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
> >
> > Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
> >
> > to itself, to the stranger who loved you
> >
> > all your life, whom you ignored
> >
> > for another, who knows you by heart.
> >
> >
> >
> > Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
> >
> > the photographs, the desperate notes,
> >
> > peel you own image from the mirror.
> >
> > Sit. Feast on your life.
> >

Please consider giving yourself this gift.

I was able to attend because of a 75% scholarship awarded to me by MaleSurvivor. It's because of generous donations from kind survivors. As my fellow survivor and WoR-mate Czaesar wrote, scholarships are available.


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#358161 - 03/31/11 02:55 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: risingagain]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Jan,

You're amazing! I placed a post in regards to the WoR, but could not find the words to describe it in such detail as you have. I remember all those activities that you mentioned, and on that playful Saturday night, I got to be the child I never got to be before.

Then came the drumming, and I kept beating on that drum so hard until I could physically do it no more. It was a great way to let 99% of my anger out and now I'm free of it.

I, like you, was so anxious upon my arrival, that I felt sick to my stomach, but tat ended as soon as Dr. Howard Fradkin started his introduction to the the weekend to come. The facilitators were all awesome good hearted people that donated their time and energy to be with us and guide us towards the light of healing, and for that I'm so grateful. God bless you all!

I cannot stress enough how beneficial this WoR was to me, and how I will never forget this wonderful experience.

This weekend was full of love, support and compassion, all in a most safe environment for everyone. I made great new friendships, that I know will last for a life time.

There were moments of laughter,camaraderie, moments of crying, but the crying felt so good, so liberating as the crying was out of happiness. I got to learn about all these horrifying stories, but I saw everyone rise from the ashes like a phoenix and flew away freely.

If any of the participants of this WoR is reading this, please know it was a honor and a great pleasure to have met you all.

Love you brothers!

Most Sincerely,

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#358170 - 03/31/11 08:34 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: Czaesar72]
ACRoberts Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 242
Loc: New Jersey (recently moved fro...
Jan,
Your message touches me deeply. You are a beautiful person who I am honored to call brother. I wish you all the best in your continued healing and please reach out to me if you need anything. I will ALWAYS be here for you and will definitely call you on Christmas as I promised, but I am also sure we will speak before then. Heal well, my dear brother!

_________________________
Allan
________________________
WOR Sequoia 2011--it has changed my life!

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#358251 - 04/01/11 01:13 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: ACRoberts]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Thank you brothers. Thank you.


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#358338 - 04/01/11 08:50 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: risingagain]
bljyrql Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 11
Loc: Atlanta, GA
I'm trying to decide if WOR is really for me. In general I'm scared to death and avoid crowds, not sure if my abuse warrants such internal scrutiny or what I will really gain by participating. I see positive comments above, but is this the take away from everyone or a small percentage of participants? Thanks in advance for your replies.


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#358354 - 04/01/11 10:45 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: bljyrql]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11111
Loc: Denver, CO
Echoing Czaesar72, A WoR has the potential to be life-changing. One can find themselves with an open door to processing something major, and this is a good thing since everything is handled by professional therapists during the entire WoR. Although that can sound daunting, processing emotions from the past events is what heals and allows us to move forward.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#358363 - 04/01/11 11:19 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: FormerTexan]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
bljyrql,

I don't know your story, but I can safely say that there were people on my weekend who were incredibly terrified, incredibly wound up and totally in hyper-sensitive PTSD mode... I can't really say any more because these are not my stories to tell.....

but i witnessed amazing transformations as they / we gradually began to feel safe. it was REMARKABLE.

i can't think of a place anywhere on earth that could be more safe for survivors of sexual abuse.


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#358364 - 04/01/11 11:21 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: risingagain]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
ps i was pretty wracked up... i mean, i was sadistically raped by my parents, told i wanted it, and then called a pedophile.... it's awful... if they can hold me, maybe they can hold you too.


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#358366 - 04/02/11 12:21 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: bljyrql]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
blyrql,

I think, I can safely say that at least 99% of the people that attended fell the same way as Allan, Jan and I feel about it.

I'm social phobic, I do not like crowds, but all those fears went out the window. There is always the option to leave if you do not feel safe (you'd just need to let someone know, so nobody wonders what happened to you), but after the weekend started, I did not want it to end.
If you are considering attending to one, give it a try; you won't regret it. smile

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#358367 - 04/02/11 12:23 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: FormerTexan]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
I totally agree with you Andy!

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

Top
#358371 - 04/02/11 12:42 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: risingagain]
motos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/25/10
Posts: 2
Loc: silicon valley
Hello Bljyrql, Hello Czaesar,
Motos here. I was in Czaesar's small group, and from my perspective the transformation in him (and myself) was amazing. Echoing Jan's words, there was community, and an absolute removal of all isolation.

A realization that I arrived to, during my Santa Cruz weekend last week was,

"I am a strong caring man, in a community of strong, caring men."

I did not feel like a small child waiting to get hit, which is how I've presented when I've reverted back to the damage of my childhood. The weekend of recovery was healing, strengthening, and now I actually feel a part of a community that knows, understands, and cares. :-)

Czaesar, great to read your contributions! You're letting your strength shine through, and it's a beautiful thing to see.

All the best,

Motos (scott)


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#358389 - 04/02/11 03:15 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: motos]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
hey Scott!

How nice to see your post... I'm honored to have been part of our small session group and getting to know you as the person you are. dude you were such an inspiration, and yes, a very strong caring and supporting man. thank you for being you!!

Czaesar

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#358443 - 04/02/11 07:16 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: Czaesar72]
Max10 Offline


Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 69
Loc: Oregon
I wish I could have attended as there is nothing even close here in Oregon that can have such a profound effect on my healing.

_________________________
Have a wonderful day.....no matter what!

~Max10~
~ I am not a victim...I am a survivor! ~

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#358474 - 04/03/11 01:26 AM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: Max10]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Max10, I attended the Santa Cruz WoR from Canada. There are few resources here, but with persistence I have found greater and greater support.... tell your story and all the great people will come out of the woodwork... let go of those who can not honor you.

Bless You.


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#358529 - 04/03/11 06:22 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: risingagain]
bljyrql Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 11
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Thanks to everyone who replied, I'm seriously considering going to the WOR near Atlanta soon.


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#358536 - 04/03/11 08:34 PM Re: Weekend of recovery (WOR) [Re: bljyrql]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Blessings. May you find what you need to grow.


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