To My ASA Brothers

It’s new, having you to talk to
Fellow men who seek to mend
Coming together feeling the touch
Silently pulling apart, fearing much

Tapping on keys creating a noise
Listening for a faint, echoing
Wondering are we to rise
Or to stubble and fall
Hating this feeling,
Of being small

Well damit,it’s time
To reframe my mind
Beat down the fear
And allow you near

(I know poetry sucks – sorry - it’s just my way)

Of course it's your way and it doesn't suck I know what you mean about typing here and feeling the echo of the keys. I often find myself longing for someone to say they "get it." No one is ever going to understand perfectly, but I wish that some of the people in my 3D world could "get it" as well as you guys do...although I wouldn't wish sexual abuse trauma on anyone.

Earl, you are not small here. I know a lot of survivors, including myself, look up to you & think you have a lot to give & a lot of experience to share. I haven't been recovering from rape trauma for nearly as long and it is because of you and the other men here that I am not completely isolated and alone.

This sounds exciting Earl!

Much support for you in this, brother! You are good to be near... you thinking pizza party? I will bring veggie pizza!

... and the poetry is very fine, the message is clear.

Hooray!
Sam

Thanks for that, Earl!

Jamie

Earl,

That is one huge step as far as I am concerned. You are a man of great value and I think a lot of you. Now - just keep taking those steps towards others.


Daryl

Dude your poetry doesnt suck dont say that. Thank you for sharing

Thank you my survivor friends for the encouragement but
It’s a tug of war this wrenching and muscular straining
Staring over and under woven letters weaving braided cables
Intertwined by admissions snaked within omissions
Who do I blame
When my opposing combatant is a mirrored reflection
One who fears and questions the wisdom of letting go.
Will doing so relinquish purpose of reflective sides?

earlybird,

Bonds and restraints can feel comfortable after a time - the familiar that somehow is unpleasantly pleasant.

I have been wrestling letting go of something but as I sit waiting for the dark to be painted by the morning sun I am struck by a thought. I am a man of extremes - an all or nothing type personality. I have been working on this for a while now and made progress I feel.

What if it is not just about letting go and not about keeping my grip taut? What if it is simply about adjusting? I think I can be right and wrong at the same time.

Thanks for your writing - it pulls me towards some pondering.


Daryl

Expressing yourself in any medium Earl, is wonderful. Letting those who genuinely care about you "inside" to help in listening, answering and supporting you in prioritizing abuse control issues and self affirmation, a good process.

Nice recovery work here, Earl,
Sam