All my adult life after the abduction/assault I felt I was heading for a big blow out, I just didn't know when or where.
I also had a long time feeling that it would be a mess, but I never thought about telling anyone what happened.
I held it together for thirty years and it did, life got real bad when I started talking about the abduction. Two weeks after disclosure I began a twenty-four hour journal written fast and free form of the past, present and future, everything went in there; obsessively for three years.
Years of untreated sexual trauma kicked in, therapy and meds were useless. I had some bad reactions to conventional therapy that resulted in LSD like tasar and lockdown events, numerous and one lasting sixty-nine days.
They called me atypical and I was. Everything coincided with the level of violence I survived. I was out of their league.
I was getting better relief and results with self searching, indepth journaling and God.
During the first eighteen months on the journey for survivorship I had written guidelines in the form of acronyms to process the multi-layered issues and conditions I acquired during and after the abduction. Those initial guidelines were all I had untill I found MS here on a random internet search.
The Four R's are the guidelines that helped me realize and correct the damage done to my inner self.
I had uncovered the truth and it did not set me free untill I literally put my self back together again. I had identified and acknowledged the SSA, false persona and disassociation identity issues and I felt empty. Like I had no identity, I couldn't be the person from before the assault and I didn't want the person from after the assault.
I had identified avoidence issues and boundries; security barriers and insecurity barracades that as defenses enabled me to tolerate internal/external stimuli. Without defense it was like a meltdown with loss of containment and I couldn't function for a few weeks untill I accepted the facts regarding who I never was going to be. There will always be a part of me, my life missing; the irreplaceable forfeit and loss.
Here's the short version of the four R's

--RECOVERY, The Spirit--

R-Realignment with internal and external forces
E-Energy blocking you from the power is cut out
C-Cognitive thinking; conscious and subconscious
O-Open your self up
V-Verbalize everything to someone unaffected by the trauma
E-Enter your self; the truth
R-Rely on reality
Y-Your mind and body will follow

--RESTORATION, The Mind--

R-Repressed and suppressed memories
E-Emotional release
S-Sexuality; instinctive
T-Treatment
O-Overrule creating mental; If I had only done this...or that scenarios
R-Rape and terror; lingering effects
A-All mental and emotional conditions and issues listed
T-Tangible thoughts and feelings
I-Intangible thoughts and feelings
O-Only you know
N-Nutritional brain food

--REHABILITATION, The Body--

R-Recognize limitations
E-Envision rebuilding what's broken
H-Health; physical
A-Address tension; mental and physical
B-Begin relaxation techniques
I-Issues made worse due to emotional state
L-List physical conditions related to the trauma
I-Identify concerns that require professionals
T-Take care of concerns that don't require professionals
A-Attention: your body and sexuality
T-Tangible thoughts and feelings
I-Intangible thoughts and feelings
O-Only you know
N-Neutral, natural and normal

--REORIENTATION, Sexuality--

R-Reinstate sexual feelings
E-Erotic enjoyment
O-Original desired sexual development
R-Relax and forget it
I-Internal sexual dysfunction
E-External sexual dysfunction
N-Nice feelings and new ideas
T-Test drive the equipment
A-Amorous ability returns
T-Tangible thoughts and feelings
I-Intangible thoughts and feeling
O-Only you know
N-Now or never; start with conversation

I had to get real honest with what I thought because I had changed up reality with half truthful falsehoods. I had to set aside what I knew or thought I knew about the past and memories when I wrote in the journal I found it impossible to minimize, maximize or miximize the truth.
I was plagued with thoughts and feelings after the abduction I could never discuss with anyone, I decided those were intangible and the ones I suppressed or changed up. Tangible thoughts and feelings had value and satisfaction. The guidelines helped me discover the source of these cognitive patterns and behaviors that needed redirection.

Well done, Doug,

Keep showing off that recovery! Thank you for guide.

Sam

Thanks for this!
Would u be willing to write more at length on your experience with each of these? I'd love to read it.

MB
Since I type about 100 words and hour it has been a chore to put what I have written into a eletronic form, plus my computer skills are only 3 years old.
I have written over a million words in a journal and uncountable amounts putting together three manu>