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#357635 - 03/25/11 08:25 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: brokenleg]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Couple days back I stood outside the ER bay of the hospital I work at waiting to meet someone. If you ever watched the show ER, you'd have an idea what the place is like, only not as nice. I stood there and shook my head wondering WTF was I was doing here. Then for some reason I got fixated on watching our EMT crews service the ambulance rigs. These folks go by choice into some tough situations every day. They care about strangers who are hurting and make a real difference. It literally gets better because of them.

I also left work early one day last week to go to Seaside Heights NJ and book a prom house for my middle kid's senior HS prom weekend. The Cheer Captain triggers me on average of a dozen time a week. She is strong and confident and does not comprehend the word "no". She dragged me all over town. I am sure I know this place better and Snooki & the Situation at this point. It was never the perfect magical dad-daughter moment I hoped it might be, but we booked a great place for her and 29 other friends of hers. Sometimes it really gets better and you just got to accept you won't get the thanks or the hug we as survivors look for along the way.

I got to talk a bit to Robbie Brown this week at MS. I read Robbie's stuff a lot and I am sure like you I feel his genuine pain. Robbie I think you are a great dad and I hope to God you get back what you lost and realize it gets so much better for your kids because of your love for them.

I also listened to how Writer Keith is having a profound impact on a group of special needs teens, and how Tyler has rallied support for his recovery by being really ballsy and disclosing to a huge group of friends. I hope they both post their own stories and let us all see how it gets better.

Nick and Brandon, I know the pain and fear you feel is real. But you keep coming back every day refusing to give up. CSA stings like a mother f*cker. But like you tell me Nick, no surrender. If you are willing to commit like these guys and others do, it does get better.

Be well Bro's,

Keith




Edited by kb8715 (03/25/11 08:26 AM)
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#357637 - 03/25/11 08:35 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
bluejay Offline


Registered: 02/23/11
Posts: 51
Reading this gave me some hope for the future.
Thank you.

Jason


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#357676 - 03/25/11 07:41 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: Magellan]
WPB Offline


Registered: 12/19/10
Posts: 12
That is very moving and strong.
Thank you.

WPB


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#358603 - 04/04/11 05:19 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: WPB]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Sometimes it get's better when you can admit you hit a road block in recovery and you take time to figure out how to get up, around or even under it.

It happens to us all. It gets better when you realize not every wall you need to get over is some huge trigger, or a relapse that could hurt you or someone else.

It get's better when you take a breath, look at your recovery tools, and change things up a bit till you get some traction.

Hey who ever said this was gonna be easy anyway, Ya know?

Like YankeeSox03 says to me.....No Surrender....no curse of the Bambino here bro.

Be well all.




Edited by kb8715 (04/04/11 05:19 PM)
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#359315 - 04/11/11 10:54 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808

This Saturday we spent the evening on Roosevelt Island overlooking the Manhattan skyline. It was not a sight seeing junket, though you could watch all the dinner boats cruising from the Statue of Liberty on the Hudson River to the East River. Saturday was about checking off as completed a huge promise I made myself in support of my wife.

I think it gets better every time you do something for people you care for.

When you drive off Roosevelt Island you cross back to NYC through a tunnel smack through mid-town. Turn your head and you see Times Square, which besides being an incredible icon of our city, is a place my family insists on standing in every time we are downtown. When the kids go to NYC with their crew they will text me to say they are by sitting with "Father Duffy". If you have not been there this is the spot my family always people watches from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duffy_Square . Having goofy family traditions like that help make it better too.

I could smile Saturday knowing I've covered a hell of a lot of ground in this process but It's still easy at time to feel very defeated by an abusive past. Admittedly it does get better.

Recovery does in fact take place. Many of us fight our own progress as if feeling better does not fit us.

Most if not all my heavy shit is well behind me and buried where it belongs.

The last piece is all about taking care family, continuing to make real charitable efforts, and caring for people, which includes good people here.

The last piece is a long term project of course. It's much like that Robert Frost poem we all read as kids: But I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep....and miles to go before I sleep.
A lot of us don't sleep well so that's ok. But it does get better when you make recovery promises to help others, and then keep them.

Pay it forward and heal guys....Keith




Edited by kb8715 (04/11/11 10:56 AM)
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#359316 - 04/11/11 11:44 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Keith,

thanks so much for this encouraging, inspiring post. yes, we all DO have promises to keep! I have a lot of voices inside, voices of the man who abused me, telling me I am a waste, that I should have died long ago, that the world has no use for me. But then again my faith teaches me that God is not done with me and that I still have a lot of work to do in this world before I am ready for the next.

what did you do on ROosevelt island, just spend time together? My wife is always wanting me to take her on dates and pay more attention to her... it is hard because I don't feel like myself anymore but maybe I should make a promise, too.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#359350 - 04/11/11 06:17 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: CruxFidelis]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Pete, I made a promise to re-unite my wife with her sister who she has been estranged from for 5 years. She lives on the island. It was a really big promise to keep.

They accepted an invite to come see us Easter weekend.

Make a promise to your wife and make it happen Pete. It's healing for you both.

Be well.....





Edited by kb8715 (04/11/11 06:17 PM)
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#359351 - 04/11/11 07:14 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
that sounds like you were her knight in shining armor that day. I am not sure what I have left to give at this point. I am sure there is something.

Thanks for sharing your strength with us

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#359352 - 04/11/11 07:17 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my brothers,

I made a solemn promise to my inner child (little Pete) that i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity.

I made that promise at my first WoR in Dahlonega, Georgia. Almost 2 years ago, May 2009 the 16Th to be exact.

He has taken me from the infinity of the heavens (God), to the depths of hell (suicide), and everywhere in between.

And i owe my success in dealing with all this stuff not only to those T sessions, and those WoR's. But to all of you here.

I need reassurance quite often. I need reassurance that someone cares for me (my son & grandsons do).
I need reassurance that i'm understood.
I need reassurance that your compassion, understanding & love for another whom has walked in your shoes, is still there.
I need reassurance that when i'm in the dark depths of my soul and feel there is no way out, that you are there for me.

I especially need reassurance that it DOES GET BETTER, even after i tell others that it indeed does.

But, my brothers here (to name a few) Kieth, obi, CruxFidelis, mrwhiskers,1islandboy,trb1345, daryl, Gary and all of my other brothers here and in the GBTQ healing circles.

Keep reminding this old Irishmoose AKA petercorbett to keep focused to keep on going. To finally become that SURVIVOR & reap the peace & serenity that we all so richly deserve.

Thanks, my brother Keith you make sure that It DOES GET BETTER.

Heal well my brothers, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.



Edited by petercorbett (04/12/11 10:41 PM)
Edit Reason: added name
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#359357 - 04/11/11 08:05 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: petercorbett]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Peter and Pete-Moose you both give a lot. In fact you were both there for me those early days. Crux seeing you and Castle with NJ locations immediately made me see I was never alone. Both you Jersey boys have had my back since.

Moose your welcome note back then reinforced that thought as well. You never sway from your positive feelings for all newbies.

My point has always been I am no better at this than anyone. I just refuse to let a 3 year trip to hell when I was 10 years old define the rest of my life.

I rant about paying forward and in our home we try but are not perfect. You both pay it forward as well as so many of us do. We are very good men here even though at times we don't like to say it.

Peace gents.

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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