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#35766 - 11/04/02 11:48 PM What's This One?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
I'd not seen this forum before and was curious as to who & what it's for, particularly the difference between this and the other Members forum.

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35767 - 11/05/02 12:00 AM Re: What's This One?
MS Admin Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 382
Hi,

This is for members of MS/NOMSV who are not survivors (we do have a few) and for perhaps non-survivor issue discussions. e.g., membership questions, general chat, etc.

F

_________________________
The Team at MaleSurvivor

Please read the faq's for answers to the most commonly asked questions.

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#35768 - 11/05/02 05:14 PM Re: What's This One?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
There seems to be a few people and organizations listed in the Newsletter that could be interesting to us, this might be a good place for them to post something about themselves.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#35769 - 11/05/02 09:51 PM Re: What's This One?
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Well, this raises an interesting area. As a non-survivor, I sometimes feel like I'm intruding if I go into the "survivors only" area. For a long time, I didn't go, even though I could. As a therapist working with survivors, I believe I have much to learn from the people I work with and they from me. I'm a little concerned about the member/guest split (though I supported it at the last board meeting in order to help the organization grow)and wonder if I'll miss some important postings (where I could help or learn) because they're posted in the guest area.

I also wonder how survivors feel about me reading posts and responding on occasion.

Ken
PS- Nice to see that you feel comfortable to post your name, Vic.


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#35770 - 11/05/02 11:22 PM Re: What's This One?
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Ken,

It would never occur to me that you are not a survivor. I have read some of your professionqal papers and have so much respect for you.

In my opinion I would treasure any input you would give any where.

I would think that Board Members have access every where since in a sense you are the over seers of our whole org and all it does.

Thanks for your thoughts on confrontation. I read them even tho my perps that I know of are deceased. I encounter them in my mind now and then. I guess I don't move on completely.

BTW, things are better re: dissociation the past week.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#35771 - 11/06/02 07:59 AM Re: What's This One?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Ken:

Ditto with Bob, I would never have thot you weren't a survivor. From what I've read on the boards & in your writing, you have a deep understanding of and a working compassion with us survivors.

BTW I just carefully re-read your article on Disclosure & Confrontation, and picked up a lot of good ideas & reaffirmations for the process of disclosure I've begun. Thanks.

Again ditto with Bob, I would value your opinions & participation on any board any time you think is appropriate as someone who has put in years of hard research and valuable work with survivors.

Its also good to know that as a worker with survivors as well as a member of the Board, you are reading the posts, helping to keep up with & keep track of us.

Ken I read but didn't really involve myself in the discussions about the member/guest split, maybe becuz I felt too new or just felt I add nothing to add at the time.

But for what its worth I affirm it was & is the right decision. One I've seen work on several other recovery sites, as a guest, a member, and even a moderator.

I think it gives any male survivor (or family member/friend) every chance to come here to learn, vent, build mutual trust, find any help needed, and grow toward membership while giving good incentives for so doing--on a well monitored & well moderated safe site.

I think it gives members the added safety they need as they begin to want to open up more, become more involved, and like me start the process of disclosure. We also have an increased investment and ownership, the sense & the reality of which I already value far beyond the $35 I invested in membership.

After all, the members only area is a place "where everybody knows my name!"

Vic

P.S.--Its been many years, but I briefly lived near enuf to Lambertville NJ that I spent a little time there. My fibrofogged memory fails me as to whether I'm thinking of the right people or not, but I know we had some friends from Lambertville we may have visited there, in the mid-80's I think. My wife grew up in S Jersey.

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35772 - 11/07/02 10:54 PM Re: What's This One?
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Vic and Bob:
I appreciate the compliments, particularly that what I wrote has been helpful for you. This is so much better than the crap that went on for too long with "Factsperson" and his divisiveness. The name of the game is healing and recovery. If we can get the info out to those who need it, then we're doing our job. I look forward to working with you and others who are healing and helping others heal.

I'm trying to encourage non-members (guests) to join in order to make MaleSurvivor/NOMSV stronger. Let's work together!
Ken


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#35773 - 11/07/02 11:20 PM Re: What's This One?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Ken:

Amen to that! And I'll help any way I can!

Thanks \:D

Vic

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#35774 - 11/09/02 11:21 PM Re: What's This One?
Lightfang Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/00
Posts: 102
Loc: Minnesota
Ken,
I can remeber how scared I was when I first came to the chat room so many years ago. You, Ian and Shel were so wonderful to talk to. And you have helped both my wife and I through your support in the chat room, your replies to our e-mails, and the writing we have found of yours. You are a true blessing to have here.

Thank You,

George

_________________________
"Please love and protect all children, they are the future of us all!!"

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