My dreams as a child were a mix of what both Mark S, & rax described on 1-19-03. Over time, decades, I started to control the ends of some of those terrifing dreams. And each time, it was a small victory. It wasn't a victory over SA, I had no idea of what SA was, or that I was even a victim. It was just a little satisfaction that I was able to change the ending. Although, I did block out the vast majority of the abuse, I still had a CLEAR dread/fear of my dad, & FELT I should be afraid to be alone with him, without the understanding of why.
I have always had fragmented (abuse) memories, but I didn't know what they truely were about & they didn't make sence, till 5 yrs ago.
I would perfer not to remember my dreams. They have never been enjoyable, except for rare cases. They mostly are bizzar or fragmented, and have themes of death, murder, SA, being hunted, end-of-the-world, eaten alive....and various other unpleasent to quite desturbing situations.
I have tried to unravel some of them. Simular to the way Don-NY 1-21-03 did/does, but that was mostly when I was in therapy and had the extra supports. Now, I'd just rather not remember them at all...
If the inability to sleep could be captured & there was a market, i bet most of us would be rich men.