I can hear your 'helplessness' in your post. I'm sorry
In a moment he told you, the first person after all these years. That was a moment and now he's not so sure. And like Billy said, its real now.
Try not take it personal. He needs your support now more than ever, although you have to look after yourself in this because, as i'm sure you know, you cant make him do anything. So take a little step back. Tell him you love him, write him a letter. And wait. Be the mother you want to be, he will come good...he just needs some time.
Im the wife of a survivor. PM if you need, anytime