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#357290 - 03/22/11 01:27 AM Re: SELF PITY [Re: risingagain]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
wowowowowowowoweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


there is such freedom in that!


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#357305 - 03/22/11 07:21 AM Re: SELF PITY [Re: risingagain]
1.healing Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 261
Loc: NW Ohio

RA,

You're not going to break the cycle of abuse by wallowing in it; there's not a whole lot to be gained from the "What If?" or "If Only..." attitude. We can't change what has happened to us, we can only do something TODAY to help ourself fix it! Now... go kick your own ass and get moving on something constructive! You'll begin to feel better about a whole lot of things.

Gary

"You can't plow a field by turning it over in your mind" Unknown


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#357315 - 03/22/11 09:08 AM Re: SELF PITY [Re: 1.healing]
mac80 Offline


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 38
Thanks


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#358203 - 03/31/11 02:14 PM Re: SELF PITY [Re: ItsOK]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 393
Loc: west coast
Thanks for that message, in there between the lines i read HOPE. That is what i am striving for, too. Looking backwards there has been so much damage done to me and sadly caused by me and both are hard to accept to the point it can be overwhelming. Sure it is rancor aimed inwards. Looking forward is diffenent though, there is a sense that what has gone before and be learned from and can be a part of something new and healthy. I don't really know what that looks like yet but there is a condidence somehow, someway it will be ok. I need to feel that to get through for today. I just wished the formula worked faster.

_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#358497 - 04/03/11 10:06 AM Re: SELF PITY [Re: risingagain]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
the way I'm looking at it these days is like a warzone
my abusers left mines there
dangerous mines that can hurt children, including my child
so i want to go in there
and feel the hurt in there
and diffuse those mines

but i want to go in an get out
cleanly, a focussed mission
so i can get back to my life
and the happiness i deserve!!!

the weekend of recovery was such an experience for me
of going in an diffusing a lot of mines
and i came out of it SO happy.

now my work is to begin to plant a new garden
where there once was a minefield

and to continue to protect my space
and to be aware for more mines that lie buried, still


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#358498 - 04/03/11 10:11 AM Re: SELF PITY [Re: risingagain]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
for example, yesterday i went skiing
i had a great time with a friend

in the car driving back
i began to feel the weight of things
and i was OK with it
it was hard for a few hours

working through whatever i am experiencing now
not feeding it
but simply being aware of it
that's my path to healing

i feel better this morning. sun shines. i can not control the weather but i can play in the rain when it comes.


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