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#356687 - 03/15/11 07:09 PM Request from someone on MS to view his website
GoHomeAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 116
Loc: Pennsylvania
I met a guy last year who was very aware of the rules about not contacting each other outside of MS. I haven't heard from him in a while, then I got a message that I should come visit him on his website. He seems nice enough, but I'm not sure if this is appropriate. Do you have any guidance? Thanks.

_________________________
Humble Alumnus of WoR Dahlonega 2011.

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#356688 - 03/15/11 07:21 PM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: GoHomeAgain]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
It's a well known fact that not everyone using internet communication represents themselves truthfully or has your best interest in mind when entering into communication with you. The guidelines are there as a means of urging caution when engaging in unmonitored, off site contact. They are not there as a Rule that says all off site contact is forbidden.

As stated in the guidelines we strongly urge participants here to use caution when contemplating or engaging in contact of this nature. It should also be noted that if users do take their communications off site and things go badly the fallout from this relationship is not to be brought back to the forums or the chat room. If you feel there is something the modteam needs to know please contact them privately about your concerns.



Edited by WalkingSouth (03/19/11 12:54 AM)
_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#356697 - 03/15/11 09:30 PM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: WalkingSouth]
GoHomeAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 116
Loc: Pennsylvania
OK thanks.

_________________________
Humble Alumnus of WoR Dahlonega 2011.

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#356853 - 03/17/11 08:29 AM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: GoHomeAgain]
Michael Murphy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 19
Loc: United States
Wow I had no idea we couldn't contact people outside this forum.

_________________________
Michael Murphy

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#356857 - 03/17/11 08:40 AM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: Michael Murphy]
itrahan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/02/10
Posts: 96
Loc: Louisiana, Gulf Coast
Mike,
You can do as you will. The guidelines here are simply safe boundaries in the event someone on this site is here w/o good motives.


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#356866 - 03/17/11 09:55 AM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: itrahan]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
That is correct, these are guidelines, safe boundaries, with rules in place to protect the one new beginning recovery, as well as the community.
As we recover, we can struggle with appropriate sharing and access, and can be vulnerable to possible harmful thoughts and behaviors, thus limiting our identity serves to limit that possibility.
I personally have found a strong recovery through limited access, able to share the struggle and recover.

WalkingSouth's guideline quote strongly urges caution when considering outside contact. While doing so may not cause a user to lose this resource, it does open up the possibility to be compromised, reinforcing the abuse. There is little MaleSurvivor can do after a user is uncomfortably compromised.

Consider carefully outside contact, weigh the risks versus the benefits. Why would a user need to contact you directly? PM's immediately go to the provided email address. MaleSurvivor has provided every opportunity to socialize and interact with other survivors.

If you are considering outside contact, or if there is a link to a website and you wish to view it, make sure you have interacted with this anonymous user for several months before considering exposing yourself, your identity, and your family to an unknown stranger.

I am confident you will make the right decision,
Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#356875 - 03/17/11 10:17 AM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: SamV]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I would say be cautious due to him comming back later on and asking. There is chat and messages here, until you know someone well enough I would be shy about going to their website.

the fact u wrote a post shows u r concerned or not sure

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#358243 - 03/31/11 11:22 PM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: GoHomeAgain]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
GHA,

I completely agree with MJ, the fact that you posted the question is a sign that you're unsure if ti would be safe to engage in contact with this person. if you decide to do it, do it cautiously.
Take care! smile

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#358248 - 04/01/11 12:23 AM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: Czaesar72]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Good advise MJ and Czaesar smile

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#358362 - 04/01/11 11:17 PM Re: Request from someone on MS to view his website [Re: WalkingSouth]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Thanks WalkingSouth! smile

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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