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#357586 - 03/24/11 05:41 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: kb8715]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: kb8715
I was in the chat room before and it was really working for men. There was a discrete, sensitive, and helpful discussion about fighting triggers during intimacy, an issue a lot of us face. It reminded me why this place can be so key in my recovery and yours I'm sure too.


Ditto, but I'm also wondering if most here now understand what the "Survivor Support" room is? I'm guessing "no."

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#357588 - 03/24/11 05:56 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: kb8715]
Neverquit Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 147
Loc: Ohio
I completely agree and I want to thank you for verbalizing it so eloquently.

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#357630 - 03/25/11 03:01 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: Neverquit]
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 492
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
Keith, thank you for this post. It's an eye-opener, for sure.

I enjoy the chat room. I try to give help and healing when I'm in there, and keep the peace if things start getting out of hand.

I also enjoy making jokes and having fun in the chat room...but perhaps I do that too often? If this is the case, I would really like to know. I don't want to make the chat room uncomfortable for anyone.

If I am bothering anyone, please feel free to PM me in chat and tell me so. I won't be offended, I promise - instead, I will try harder to be less offensive. Okay? smile

Take care, you guys. I love you all, my brothers.

Bobcat

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#357632 - 03/25/11 07:03 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Bobcat,

I have been interpreting the concerns as being harsh comments made by some or when the talk becomes too sexual or triggering. Bobcat's statement here makes me want to ask for clarification on this. Is humor an issue in chat?

Speaking only for myself - I find a need for balance in the chat. Sometimes I am in the mood or need for serious talk but also come there simply for some good natured comraderie. If it is serious and I wish to just goof around I do so in PMs with others. If the chat is on a high roll of humor then I use the PMs for serious talk.

As in all things respect must be given to each person by each person in chat.


Daryl

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#357639 - 03/25/11 08:57 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: prisonerID]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Bobcat-CatManDoo & Prisoner Dman......no way no how you guys in particular offend any of us. Figure you guys are the role models for so many of us. Ya both helped me out of a flat spin along with guys like Shane and Castle.

Its not the easy going jokes...never was that. It's not the deep discussions when a member asks for chat room input of any issues important to us all.....intimacy, ssa, breaking a porn addiction etc. That is constructive and at the very heart of what hurts us all.

It is when someone in relapse drives the group to a sexual trigger with no good purpose. We have all seen that.

As important though it is realizing that too many guys here have said they felt someone pressured or even "hit on" them. WTF?

Maybe all this is just 5 or 10% of us so many really good guys. But you do see it here and it just is de-constructive when it takes place.

I don't think as some have said to me they are predators. I think they are brothers of ours in relapses and we do not want to enable them.

Hugs Dman & CatManDo-Bobcat.

Keith



Edited by kb8715 (03/25/11 08:57 AM)
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#357659 - 03/25/11 01:08 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: prisonerID]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: prisonerID
...Sometimes I am in the mood or need for serious talk but also come there simply for some good natured comraderie. ...


so, read everyone's comment here and i'm still not sure what is going on. what prisonerid wrote i agree with as a purpose to even engage chat.

nonetheless... maybe there should be some volunteers to just hang out in chat and keep things safe? i don't know. have only ever been in it twice myself.

suppose i should investigate before speaking more on the subject.

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#357679 - 03/25/11 08:17 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: westchesterguy]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Keith,

That was my thoughts for the need for this thread and I agree with you completely. I appreciate the clarification to show me I was correct in my assumptions.

If anyone does not feel safe or is uncomfortable they need to contact a Moderator so that the chat logs can be reviewed. Be sure and put the time and date of the chat in question.


Daryl

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#364234 - 06/15/11 05:19 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: prisonerID]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Some of the crap that's come up in the last few days.....redonkulous.....just effing redonkulous.





Edited by kb8715 (06/15/11 07:21 AM)
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#364236 - 06/15/11 07:26 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: kb8715]
RyanDouglas Offline


Registered: 06/14/11
Posts: 7
Loc: Michigan, USA
Keith, as I was reading through the introduction I saw there is a different chat.
A "premium" chat, for lack of a better word;

"Members Side' of the discussion board is a forum; to participate in this forum you must be a dues paying member".

Have you had an experience with this? I'm struggling with finances, but I could see how this dollar might be worth it, if it is really worth it.

As I'm just entering in to the healing process I'm scared I may regress too easily if provoked, but would like to use a chat too create a running dialogue, which may help.

Not just Keith, but anyone who has had experience with this; I would appreciate any constructive input you could offer.

thank you,
Ryan


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#364239 - 06/15/11 07:39 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: RyanDouglas]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Ryan, chat is free...it is the chat room where you can get live support. Try it but use your boundries. There are good people there. This post is saying at times it is mis-used unfortuantley as well. I think the good far outweighs the bad think you should try it.

As I said the last few days have been redonkulos.

The "premium" is simply a members posting area. It's no different than here, just private to those paying dues.

Good luck to you. Sorry you are here but heal...



Edited by kb8715 (06/15/11 07:40 AM)
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