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#356660 - 03/15/11 03:41 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: teebone21]
Dewey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/13/02
Posts: 137
Loc: the sunshine state
I know for me there will be highs and lows, ebbs and flows regarding my healing. Lately I seem to be in a giddy mood. I don't know if I'm running or trying to make the best of things or just experiencing life on the bright side. If I have seemed insensitive or locker-roomish, I apologize. I do try to help but sometimes may get carried away in an off color conversation. I'll be more cautious, point taken.

_________________________
I refuse to use my past as an excuse to not have a future.
My hero Dad; Trigger warning- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi3Hyxuf5AE

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#356677 - 03/15/11 05:42 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: mac80]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
well I was reading this post but did not have a reason to add to it until I was just in chat and somehting happened.

Name calling is just not good, I know we forget what this place is about. We are here to heal.

And just incase we have forgotten maybe this thread will remind us.

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#356715 - 03/16/11 01:57 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: kb8715]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Thank you for your post Keith.
I thought it was I whom had a warped opinion about he chat room, but I have been going in there less and less for the same reason. and I do feel bad for any new member that might come into the chat room, not knowing what to expect while seeking healing and he would run into some rather uncomfortable situations and/or conversations.
Thank you for bringing this up, you made an excellent point.

I have been thinking about giving up on the chat room altogether and just read and respond to posts for that same reason.
Not that I'm trying to be selfish by any means, because I do like to support our brothers specially new ones, but if my own recovery in jeopardy, I might have to choose to not go in there at least until I'm in a better emotional state. I've been attending the Rt's and HC's because I see the value in them, but I don't know what to think about the chat room anymore...

Thank you again! this issue needed to be addressed.

Sincerely,
Czaesar

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#356716 - 03/16/11 02:20 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: mac80]
Tuggs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/20/07
Posts: 53
Loc: Pensacola, Florida, USA.
Keith, thanks for your post. I myself like the chat as I do not feel so isolated. I agree that there is a time and place for what you speak of: the chat room is not that place.

Rob

_________________________
Im alive. Youre alive. Want to play?
-Judah Rosner

My Story

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#356717 - 03/16/11 03:18 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: mac80]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Mac80.

Welcome!

I am glad that your first time in the chat room was a good experience for you and received the support that you needed. After all that what this is all about; supporting each other.

The deal here is that many of us can sometimes be "emotionally vulnerable" and that's why we go in the chat room, to seek support and get over the emotional vulnerability, as one may not be able to get over that emotional state on his own.

Normally when someone is in need of support because they are feeling emotionally unstable at the time, they say so, and that person would get the help and support he needs from other survivors as that is the purpose of this chat room.

Sometimes, the emotional vulnerability may cause one to get in a panicky mode, and that person might not have any other resources than to recourse to this site and seek the help he needs to get over a possible panic attack.

My point is, that every single member/survivor has the right to come in here whether or not they are prone to panic attacks. and everyone "should" come to chat if they have the need to do so. No one here has the right to say someone should not go into the chat room if they have the need to be there just because they might be prone to panic attacks or any other emotional issues for that matter that a person may be experiencing at the time...

The point Keith is trying to convey is that we need to keep the chat room safe for every single one of us, by providing a safe environment for all, free of unacceptable behavior, disrespect for others and even vulgarity and demeaning language or anything that may cause someone to have a bad experience in the chat room, not a hostile environment as sometimes the chat room can be.

I truly hope that you keep continuing to receive the help you need and answers to your questions without ever having to deal with a negative
experience. Please remember that this site was created for "ANYONE" that needs and seek the help for his recovery... Heal well!

Respectfully,

Czaesar

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#356718 - 03/16/11 03:25 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: mrwhiskers]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Gabriel,

I commend you for taking the lead in teaching new members to avoid possible triggering situations. It's very sad you actually have to do that and that even you have to deal with such negative experiences.

Kudos to you primo!!! you are a very valuable member of this community of survivors that we are.

Thank you for being the way you are, we all appreciate you!

Sincerely,

Cz

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#356719 - 03/16/11 03:30 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: mrwhiskers]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Gabriel,

I commend you for taking the lead in teaching new members to avoid possible triggering and uncomfortable situations. It's very sad you actually have to do that and that even you as a seasoned member has to deal with such negative experiences.

Kudos to you primo!!! you are a very valuable member of this community of survivors that we are.

Thank you for being the way you are, we all appreciate you!

Sincerely,

Cz

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#356822 - 03/16/11 11:50 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: kb8715]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
I stopped going to chat room long ago after getting ambushed by someone, who knew a lot about my story (from my posts) and threw it all on my face, and even tried asking me questions on the sly....for someone else....All this occurred in the presence of a moderator, who didn't step in..

I wouldn't advise chat to new users either....discussion board is good...it provide space to think what you are speaking (writing)...another disadvantage of a badly managed chat room is that it turns it into a social club, where many people hang around for other than healing needs...

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#357430 - 03/23/11 10:36 AM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: Morning Star]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Thank you all for the supportive responses and the many PM's I also received.

One PM I got said chat had been out right unsafe to young men previously, and alleged it was covered up. WTF???????????????

Beats the Hell out of me. I'm just doing the right thing now to try and keep it safe & helpful for all.

Some heal well with the forums only. Many of us need the chance to connect here with others and Chat is a strong tool as we know. For me it has been a chance to get help when needed, and give some back which is every bit as healing.

Chat needs to be respectful at all times. Even since this was posted I have seen and corrected some racially insensitive comments and some I think were degrading to women. I also had one younger member contact me for help telling an older member to back the F*ck off.

I'm no saint. I'm pretty sure I went to Hell when I was 10. I don't deny I was ashamed by the effects that had on me. I think right now I have a pretty good instinct about what is right and what is wrong. I'm ok telling some people here who don't get this how they need to go out and get a clue. I'd be happy for your help with that as well.

Thanks to all of you who made chat safe and helpful for me, and thanks to all of you who continue to do so for new men joining every day.

Heal well all.....

Keith




Edited by kb8715 (03/23/11 10:46 AM)
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#357460 - 03/23/11 04:22 PM Re: CHAT ROOM COURTESY & COMMON SENSE [Re: kb8715]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Well said Keith! I'm one of those staying away from the chat room for now. Lately, it's been a rather uncomfortable place to go to for support.

I thank you again for bringing this issue up; hopefully it will turn into a safe place for people to go to when in need of support, specially for new members.

Sincerely,

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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