Newest Members
JayNL, Robert Barrett, lostsoul824, beatcook, MassGuy
12279 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cainrafael (28), GL (67), JohnP725 (66), Lloydy (61), Marie-TwoOfUs (35)
Who's Online
2 registered (petercorbett, 1 invisible), 25 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12279 Members
73 Forums
63185 Topics
441811 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#355975 - 03/08/11 11:50 PM Encouragement!
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2572
Hey all, I just wanted to offer a little encouragement to new members and to those who have been here awhile but are struggling in this hurricane we call recovery!



Fellow survivors, there IS a Light at the end of the tunnel. I spent a great deal of time on this site in the beginning. It was a lifeline, which is something I'm sure many of you will certainly relate to!

It's been 3 years since I started working hard on recovery.

Some might say that that's a long time and others will say that's no time at all, but the deal is, we all heal at our own rates, some faster, some slower, I think it also has a lot to do with the level, and length of abuse.

Either way, I reached a point where I spent quite a large amount of time away from this site. It actually became something that was hurtful and held me back. Kinda like needing a crutch for awhile, but after you get the cast off the broken leg, you refuse to give up the crutch, so it holds you back and slows you down.

So I stepped away and discovered something cool, I didn't need it anymore. Not to say I forgot those I'd met here, but it wasn't needed anymore, at least not in the same way.

So, now I find myself checking the site a few times a week, but now for the purpose of assisting or helping others however I can, born out of my own journey of healing.

I'd like at some point to go back to school and get whatever education I need in order to become a therapist myself, one that specifically works with those who have been abused.

I'm already running a local group for abuse in my church, although so far it's been strictly women, but none the less, it's been an awesome experience for me and for those that have been a part of it!

So, all in all... I just want to say, hang in there! I know it hurts so bad you can't breath at times! I know there are days you look in the mirror and just want to smash in the face of the fellow looking back at you! I know there are days where you ask yourself, "Why the hell did I start down this path!!!!!" and "I wish I could put it all back in the box."

I know your pain. I'm sorry.

But know this, there is a Light at the end of that tunnel! There is healing. There is Recovery.

Don't give up, you are worth it. (And yes, I know some of you when you read that will say you're not worth it, but don't listen to that wounded voice anymore, it's only dragging you down. Listen to someone who has walked this path already.)

You ARE totally worth it.

Seek the Light!


Top
#355992 - 03/09/11 04:59 AM Re: Encouragement! [Re: JustScott]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
JustScott

Thanks, It took me about one year of treatment and psychotic/neurotic events for each decade of untreated post-sexual assault trauma.

Glad to read of your support with other survivors-I always found that to be good medicine and our experience can benifit non-victims also; putting post-assault information one step in front of the victim.

Sounds like you entered a gateway to freedom!
Doug

_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

Top
#356019 - 03/09/11 12:55 PM Re: Encouragement! [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1928
Loc: durham, north england
Hi Scot.

This is great to here, sinse I have been wondering how you are myself, and to here your somewhere so positive and thinking of others in this way is great.

I must admit I feel at a slightly similar point myself. The moments when I really! need this site have gone down from once every couple of days to now something closer to once a fortnight, and the rest of the time I'm off living, but even when i come here with one of those problems, I end up sticking around for a while to try and offer some help and advice to other people, and it's fantastic to here your now doin this ful time.

So to everyone else, just to support what Scot said, yes, things do improve eventually.


Top
#356078 - 03/10/11 02:17 AM Re: Encouragement! [Re: JustScott]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
I agree with your comment on reducing frequency after a while....once you feel adequate progress has been achieved...and bringing focus on other aspects of our life to find a balance eventually...as too much delving to CSA in a go, also makes us too embroiled!

Reminds me of a line from the movie, "Girl Interrupted", when at the end the nurse says, "Don't drop your anchors here!...Put it away. Put it in your notebook, but get it out of yourself. Away so you can't curl up with it anymore...." and it stayed with me, the task to it get it out of my system and move on, life is too precious to sit about bashing abusers and brooding over childhood hurts...

One day we decide we have to move on, while life is happening right now!...this means doing what ever is needed to empower myself, including forgiveness, so that soon the label CSA resides in the past!...and we also realise that finding comfort in the group and familiarity of our past woundedness can be perilous after a while...for we might be tempted to only use it to rake up old wounds and not the wonderful healing tools the site offers!...But then we all choose our healing journey....ourselves!

I came back recently after three years...when someone commented on a post...and thus began another cycle of discovery!...

smile

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.