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#355955 - 03/08/11 07:55 PM Using
illbedat Offline


Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 75
Loc: David Wright is AWESOME
I know i'm probably losing myself when I do... but is it so wrong to only feel good when your using? I feel like it must be wrong... but it's the only tie i feel ok about myself... it makes me feel normal. I don't stress and think of the terrible things i do. I guess I know it's wrong but it's the only thing that makes me feel like everyone else.

_________________________
Take me back to the place, where I've seen it before. Before the time I lost it, where you will see, the shadow that still haunts me.

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#355956 - 03/08/11 07:59 PM Re: Using [Re: illbedat]
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
Yes...but it doesn't have to be


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#355957 - 03/08/11 08:34 PM Re: Using [Re: RecoveryReady1]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
It's a tough one man. First things first. What are we talking about here? I'm gonna assume weed. My favourite.
I was a pothead for a long time and iv'e tried a lot of different things to numb my brain in order to feel less. I suppose it works on some level and for a time. But as you get habituated you also get cranky and disenchanted because it's a regular thing you need to function normally.
I think I did what I had to do, I never really questioned it until I didn't like feeling that way or needing to use to function.
Now , i don't feel like toking or getting drunk. I'm not saying , I never will again, I'm just more selective about the occasion and the people.
I like having a clear head, even if it means feeling the pain more or panicking more. Eventually you learn to manage those emotions better once you start feeling them really. That being said i am on antidepressants and I see a therapist to help me. So it's not like i'm doing it alone.
I hope this helps you a little.
take care man\

Anthony

_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

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