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#355765 - 03/07/11 02:12 AM watermelon
Jaifian Offline


Registered: 05/26/09
Posts: 220
Loc: washington state, USA
I recently got suicidally depressed and decided to check myself into a hospital. I'm better now, but in the hospital I attended a therapy group in which I was given a hand-out with this (Just the watermelon part):

http://youcanheal.blogspot.com/2009/09/wally-amos-watermelon-credo.html

When I got to the "N" I felt all this shame come up.. because it felt like it was telling me I was bad because I got raped.

Yeah, maybe that's not what the idea was, but that's just how it came across to me. I stormed out of the group and complained. Do you think I was just being over-sensitive?


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#355775 - 03/07/11 08:06 AM Re: watermelon [Re: Jaifian]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
No I think that might upset several men here.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#355778 - 03/07/11 08:42 AM Re: watermelon [Re: michael Joseph]
earlybird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
Frankly, I’m impressed you made it to “N”. From the start this so called wisdom is over simplification in thought and wisdom. For it to suggest the there is a path to healing through “Polly Annie” thinking, not by doing the hard work required, is ridiculous even harmful. Plus in my book this is just another way of someone saying “Just get over it”.

Jaifian, I don’t believe you were being “over sensitive” I believe they were being “insensitive”.

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

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#355780 - 03/07/11 08:52 AM Re: watermelon [Re: earlybird]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
I can see how this sort of 'optimism manifesto' would be something that triggered you, that "N" statement would have triggered me, too. The "if you believe it, you can achieve it" mantra has its place, but it can only take you so far. It's important to remember that you didn't "become" a victim in the transitive sense. None of us chose that for ourselves. You were victimized and that is one situation in life you don't have to feel responsible for.

You don't have to accept prepackaged advice from a handout, especially from a dude who is mostly just famous for making chocolate chip cookies--something anyone can do, really.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#355832 - 03/07/11 06:57 PM Re: watermelon [Re: CruxFidelis]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I too found this a bit "too cute" for me in the presentation. Part of empowerment is being able to reject that which does not fit. Jaifian, you have the right to reject what does not fit your healing road. We all do.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#355833 - 03/07/11 06:58 PM Re: watermelon [Re: CruxFidelis]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I too found this a bit "too cute" for me in the presentation. Part of empowerment is being able to reject that which does not fit. Jaifian, you have the right to reject what does not fit your healing road. We all do.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#355870 - 03/08/11 01:12 AM Re: watermelon [Re: prisonerID]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
This reminds me that when I was in the boy scouts, we would all sit around and especially the older scouts would pass jokes around the circle. They were the same jokes over and over. There was one about a watermelon. Now that I'm older and (supposedly) have more sense, I realize that the joke was about a form of abuse!

Allen


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#355934 - 03/08/11 03:15 PM Re: watermelon [Re: pufferfish]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Allen,

That is so sad but what else would sick fools like that do?

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#355936 - 03/08/11 03:30 PM Re: watermelon [Re: prisonerID]
Mdum@ne Offline


Registered: 03/08/11
Posts: 1
Having been on the road to recovery, what if the perpertrator no longer is alive today? I can't help sometimes but wish otherwise.


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#355958 - 03/08/11 08:45 PM Re: watermelon [Re: Mdum@ne]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Mdum@ne,

Do you feel somehow cheated by your abuser/assailant not being alive? Mine were strangers so there will never be any type of face to face closure.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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