Hi, my brothers.
Well here i am again talking about where i am now. Two years down the road. Many of you have already been there. A quite a few have been on this road a lot longer than I.
There are quite a few of my brothers here whom have been with me in those two years.
Today, was an exceptional day for me. I am here staying with Todd (obi). He is my mentor & confidant. I have others too.
My day started out in confusion & oh for the lack of a better word guilt & shame. Guilty & shame because i had believed that i was useless, worthless, never amounted to anything boy/man.
In effect i had kept myself a victim for all those years. In two area's. First, believing that my"mom" was right all along.
Secondly, that Ralph had really loved me, and that i had loved Ralph for all these years.
Todd (obi) sure can read my mind, i can tell him that everything is OK. But he has a sense that i'm not being honest with him. So he gets me to open up. We or I should say i talk & he listens to me and my confusion & fears.
Then in his calming voice will get me out of my confusion/guilt & shame. And this is not the first time.
So for me a day that started out as another woe is me day. He turns it into hey, you are a good person, what was done is not your fault. Yea, but i believed & lived it for 60 years. So, you have proven that you weren't all those things that your 'mom" claimed.
He gets me out from my shell, the sun is shining, he gets me to smile. He gets me to feel good about myself. I tell him that thanks to him, i am feeling great, full of hope i see the good in me. It is a rare day for me indeed. I am on top of the world.
Going back from August of '08, when i found this site and right up to this minute. I owe you all, my brothers, my heart felt gratitude & thanks, for the support that i have received over these two years.
From my brothers here in the MS web site. To those facilitators male & female, whom have given not only me but my other brothers there their compassion, understanding & love.
For those brothers that i have met at those weekends of recovery and their support. Those "strangers" that had opened their heart & soul to me, not as a stranger, but as brothers.
You are kind enough to listen to this old boys cries for help. And kind enough to give me your compassion, understanding, love & hope.
I owe all of you my brothers here, my deepest from the depths of my heart & soul, my thanks & gratitude. As with out all of you, i couldn't have made it this far down the road to recovery. You all have helped that lost boy move from the darkness into the sunshine. Ever so slowly on my part.
To all my brothers out there, i love & thank you all... A great day indeed.
Heal well, my brothers, heal well.
"I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.