Nice talking with you Sono. Don't feel bad about not completely getting Sam, I had to call him this morning to clarify things. LOL

As to the corpes image. It is how I best sum up that moment in time. Where we seem to differ is that for me as I've grown to incorporate the past and I've come a long ways it's "ickyness" has never diminshed. I'm not sure I even understand how it could or if it should. Maybe I'm not as far along as I'd like to invision myself. I'll ponder on it. Thanks for your "going survivory on me" That is what makes this all worth while.

This subject struck a nerve with me because I've been thinking a lot lately about how when I hear other's stories of being seduced, groomed, however you want to put it, I feel jealous of them. Like somehow, if my rapist had been nice to me it wouldn't have hurt so much (physically, emotionally, who knows?). I feel so warped admitting this, but that's how I feel. Jealous. How freakin' sick is that? Oye.

Peace,

John

hi john

hope u r doing well

MJ

Hi, Mike.

Doing so-so; okay, I guess. Hope all is okay with you.

John

This will make you angry or ill or both.

A few years ago I read a very disturbing book about a pedophile. I almost hesitate to post it because this book is so inflammatory. The book is: Conversations With A Pedophile, by Amy Hammel-Zabin. One hardcover edition of the book is now selling for $297.00 a copy, but the softcover version is selling for $8.77 for a used copy in good condition.

http://www.amazon.com/Conversations-Pedophile-Interest-our-Children/dp/1569802475/

The author went to the prison where the convicted pedophile was confined in a life sentence. There she interviewes him at length and exchanged letters with him. He was the Hannibal Lecter of child (boy) abuse. He was very intelligent. He moved into the town and quickly joined a church and a boy scout troop (as a scoutmaster). Nearly all of his waking hours, even lasting into when he went to bed were occupied in figuring out how to get to boys. It was his consuming interest in his perverted life. He made friends with boys' parents and won the boys' confidence too. He took them out on camping trips. He had designed games and words to pervert the will of the boys. He became very good at it. He relished his own skill at subverting boys. He admits to having molested over 1000 boys before he was stopped. He claimed that his greatest joy was to totally break the will of the boy. He was so smooth that nobody suspected what he was up to. He never used violence or force. He only used words and entrapment situations and smooth talk.

Allen