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#354412 - 02/22/11 12:42 AM What's attracting me to THESE people?
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
I must be somehow vibrating on the same level......I find that I am always dealing with people who are controlling and for me a little psycho.....I am trying to see how I am the same.....otherwise why would I be attracting these types....Having survived so much madness in my own family it makes sense that I have much challenge sharing my real feelings with people......but I like to think that I am nice...not like these idiots I am attracting....
I guess some of the pain comes from realizing that I absorbed the madness of my environment and now I have a lot of the traits...I hate this because I felt victimized then and I just wanted to get away......and now I don't know.....but it somehow feels right to see that I am similar to these people that I don't care for at all....the ones I am attracting now and the ones I grew up with....Someone told me about the shadow side and this must be part of it....All I know is that I don't want to think I am like those people.....
But....I do want to heal...and if that's the truth them so be it.......I really love what I heard about staying emotionally while going through these things....don't bite down on it emotionally....which I am so used to doing...just hanging onto the pain....


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#354413 - 02/22/11 12:44 AM Re: What's attracting me to THESE people? [Re: RecoveryReady1]
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
Staying emotionally loose while going through these things....
editing 2nd last line.


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#354430 - 02/22/11 03:01 AM Re: What's attracting me to THESE people? [Re: RecoveryReady1]
jurek Offline


Registered: 08/23/10
Posts: 130
Loc: New Hampshire
Yeah, that's it staying emotionally loose and not biting down on the pain. Very appropriate way of putting it. That's the spirit of recovery I've been after as I try to sit with the waves of pain that are emerging from a state of having been suppressed and denied and resisted for so long. But resisting my bad memories has placed them right smack in the middle of my life for years. I'm learning how to feel strong feelings without resisting them, now that I have started to experience the healing that comes with that.

George

_________________________
-jurek

Jurek ogorek, kielbasa i sznurek, kielbasa uciekla, Jurek do piekla!


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#354433 - 02/22/11 03:38 AM Re: What's attracting me to THESE people? [Re: jurek]
jurek Offline


Registered: 08/23/10
Posts: 130
Loc: New Hampshire
As for those people, if you don't get what you need and want from them, don't hesitate to move on or keep them at arms length. you will find plenty of people where the attraction is mutual.

G

_________________________
-jurek

Jurek ogorek, kielbasa i sznurek, kielbasa uciekla, Jurek do piekla!


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#354434 - 02/22/11 03:42 AM Re: What's attracting me to THESE people? [Re: RecoveryReady1]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
I am glad that you have spotted this!

Two things first it is true that at a vibrational level we vibrate people who are vibrating at our level, though that doesn't mean we like them it is that we carry the fear of being controlled, and that shadow side keeps attracting people of the stereotype or rather archetype to us.

Once you identify the type, you know how to fight back! Being nice is the problem then, at least in the beginning, you have to learn to respect your boundaries enough to tick off people who are violating them, and not be afraid of their power, the similar kind had over us, in the past!

So it is imperative that we learn to fight of pushy/bullying people in various garbs, till you no longer fear them, then they would stop appearing, but not before you let go of your hyper vigilance towards them and confront your own controlling nature, that is the second thing to be aware of, and trickiest one of the two. Because due to fear of loosing control, we want to control as much of our life as we can!...

Once clean of both, you can begin to find balance, as not everybody is trying to control you, and so letting your guards down and letting love and light in, completes the circle!




_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#354437 - 02/22/11 04:28 AM Re: What's attracting me to THESE people? [Re: Morning Star]
midnight51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/02/03
Posts: 138
Loc: Cleveland, Ohio
What if you somehow fast-forward to the end where you've gone through all of the motions but nothing has changed.

That's how I feel. No where to run, no where to hide -- just violated again and again. No where is safe. Nothing makes sense.

Meh, sorry, this thread sort of just hit home.

_________________________
http://midnight61.blogspot.com/

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#354564 - 02/23/11 10:43 AM Re: What's attracting me to THESE people? [Re: Morning Star]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Thought I'd share this video about changing your point of attraction as it were...which means attracting new things in your life, by focussing on on things you'd want to experience!...



_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#354694 - 02/24/11 01:35 PM Re: What's attracting me to THESE people? [Re: Morning Star]
cureav Offline


Registered: 08/10/10
Posts: 21
Thanks a lot for this thread, RecoveryReady1.
When I was reading "Stop Walking on Eggshells", one part of that book just strikes me: "Stop trying to resolve childhood issues through relationships".
Then I get it that every relationship with my girls was based and reflected through my past abuse and family problems.
Every girl I dated was so controlling, and the problems with the last one really brought me to the core of the problem in my own family.
Hope this gave you some insight...


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