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#354285 - 02/20/11 10:16 PM seems like the abuse never ended for me
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I think the main thing is so many that were supposed to care about me and even love me hurt me. It is hard to understand why family and friends would hurt me. I am also dealing with more recent abuse by friends whom I trusted and they still hurt me. It is hard but the grooming was so cleaver and cunning.
It is not like you say one day oh I am locked in this house, but then I have a roof over my head food and someone who Is treating me ok, but he is also keeping all the doors locked with a deadbolt and key and I have no Key. Or someone becomes my friend only to be sexual with me and using me the whole time.
Part of me feels like I should have known, but I did not know. Hindsight makes it seem like I should, but I would not want to be hurt and if I could I would have stopped it. I would have for sure. Sometimes I feel 5, or 10 or 12 but that is not often now.
Many places were not safe, my house, where I worked as a child, my cousinís houses, my Grand Parents. I do remember as a teen not feeling loved. I do feel loved now. Which is a plus.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#354295 - 02/21/11 01:05 AM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: michael Joseph]
ossa Offline


Registered: 02/13/11
Posts: 4
Loc: Central Florida
You are loved brother, you are loved!
Hugs from Ken


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#354298 - 02/21/11 02:11 AM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: michael Joseph]
mrwhiskers Offline


Registered: 02/22/04
Posts: 193
You are love lots
((((mj))))

G

_________________________
"Dont be scared... angels r here" Maria Fernanda (Mafer)

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#354299 - 02/21/11 02:43 AM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: mrwhiskers]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Lots and lots and lots of love brother smile

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

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#354304 - 02/21/11 09:24 AM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: Darkheart]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
"I do feel loved now."

Now is as important as any other time in our lives. I am happy that you have that in your life today.


Daryl

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#354375 - 02/21/11 06:17 PM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: prisonerID]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
thanks u guys

hugs to all of you all

I am inviting you to my birthday party

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#354376 - 02/21/11 06:22 PM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: michael Joseph]
itrahan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/02/10
Posts: 96
Loc: Louisiana, Gulf Coast
Party...did I Hear Party! MJ you are a special guy as any new guy will testify, you are always the first to offer welcome & encouragement.

Ivan


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#354379 - 02/21/11 07:05 PM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: itrahan]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
lol thanks Ivan

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#354715 - 02/24/11 04:58 PM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: michael Joseph]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
MJ,

I know what you mean - it seemed to never end. For me on 12-21-10, is when I started over believing in me "without" the influence of others.

Hope your party is a good one.

Donnie

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#359625 - 04/13/11 10:21 PM Re: seems like the abuse never ended for me [Re: Avery46]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
thank donnie

well I am done with abuse no more

I will do everything in my power to not get hurt again

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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