Chiseled Enmity

Hate sculpted in hearts
Bound tight - flesh upon flesh
Slits men’s souls apart

I believe there are only three people I’ve ever hated, all sprung from the same event. The two men for raping my heart, soul and body, the other was me, for not stopping them. Strangely, I warred silently against my own flesh causing injury also resulting in the slicing of my soul shedding its blood.

Bleeding from one’s soul is very different than from one’s heart. When the heart bleeds people’s normal reaction is to show compassion and will gather around and attempt to assist. But when it is the soul that spills, pulsating out its life giving fluids this seems to frighten people and they tend to turn their backs or hide or worse yet, go silent pretending nothing is wrong.

My own interpretation -

Our hearts signify our emotions, responses and reactions. What lies within our souls is our identity - the men who we are in so many ways. A much more signicant reality in my opinion. It is life and it is death. For within us we can breathe, move, talk and respond to others. But we can also be dead within each movement we make. Feeling altered and twisted by the actions of others.

That seems too much for society to take in right now for the most part when it involves abuse. Speaking personally - it seems to be in few corners that it exists for men who were assaulted as adults. Still trying to find where those corners are right now.

People may ask someone how they are doing after a loss of a loved one. Some wince hoping they get a quick answer as they walk away. Some hope for a surface level response of "I am making it even though it is hard right now". Then there are those that are willing to stand still and allow the other person to go deep into the dark pain. They go with them while holding on to an anchor enabling them both to not be lost in the abyss. Societies are fascinating experiments. Individuals are the ones who hold out help and hope to others.

Empathy is like milk, birdman. Either people have it or they don't.

This was a very thought provoking post for me.


Daryl

Earl...i so totally understand this...

I often feel like my soul is completely withered and dried up...no more blood and pain to seep out...my soul is just dead now...

The difference between the "bleeding from the heart" and "bleeding from the soul", to me, is the difference between presenting symptoms of grief and fear, versus presenting with hatred and anger.

The soul, or body, bleeding can be compared to a wound that is not life threatening, so that the victim can appear functional, dismissing onlookers empathy while hiding the trauma of the event inside.

The heart bleeding, is a fatal wound, very serious, incapacitating. Those who look on know the victim cannot function on his own, and needs restorative care, unable to do so himself. He cannot dismiss the overwhelming damage to himself, and must accept support from others.

In this poem then, may we learn that ALL abuse is felt in the heart and soul, but only in sharing the heart will others empathize and support long term, providing sufferers the affirmation we need to recover sufficiently from all aspects of the abuse.

Thank you, Earl, and brothers, for your thoughts,
Sam