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#35277 - 11/18/03 12:07 AM First time doing something... afraid
bountiful1 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/03
Posts: 52
Loc: New York, New York, USA
I'm doing a job this coming few weeks that is very demanding and dificult. This is the first time I will be doing something just for me, and only the way I want it to be. I am so afraid. I have never in my life - that I can remember - done something just because I know it should be a certain way!

I'm afaraid that I will let everyone else take over - (fear - because I never did anything right yet in my life - according to my whole family. And because of my shyness, I've never even broached my worth in any other relationship. (in the past - workers have been abusive.) Now I am the one who this project is riding on. I am as Sonheim says - excited and scared. If I really trust myself - There is a tiny little part of me that knows I can do this. But - I don't know what that feels like. I am afraid... ???

_________________________
I do not know what signature means in 300 words. I am guessing some thoughts?

Great book that captures the truth of PTSD: The Sentimentalists by Skibsrud

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#35278 - 11/18/03 05:23 PM Re: First time doing something... afraid
Happy Birthday Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Asher

Quote:
There is a tiny little part of me that knows I can do this. But - I don't know what that feels like.
Let me describe this feeling to you, "it's exactly the same as the feeling you're feeling"

It's a natural fear Asher, turn it into a strength.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#35279 - 11/18/03 08:07 PM Re: First time doing something... afraid
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Very well said Dave.

Asher, you have the power.

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#35280 - 11/19/03 01:30 PM Re: First time doing something... afraid
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
ASHER
Make this the begining of a new time in your life when you control the power. All your brothers here are standing at your side. Feel our power also.Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#35281 - 11/19/03 07:16 PM Re: First time doing something... afraid
BT Offline


Registered: 06/25/03
Posts: 388
Loc: Chicago IL
Ashr,

I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
I thiow I can
I thnow I can
I know I can
I know I can

Kind of cheesy I know, but F**k anyone that says you have never done anything right. I know better. You rule man. Do it to and do it right.

See ya on the red carpet!!!!

All my love
Brent.

_________________________
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is not my job to change their mind." Dali Lama

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#35282 - 11/20/03 05:10 PM Re: First time doing something... afraid
bountiful1 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/03
Posts: 52
Loc: New York, New York, USA
THanks guys!

I am doing pretty well for myself! (worked 34 hous the first day!) slept 10!

I am doing what I need to do - and people are falling in line! (there are always a few who work a de-meaning the experiences of others! I wonder what kind of sickness that is!)... I put an end to one woman making comments about whos works she liked and whos she didn't like - in front of everyone! COW! i told her ther is no time for what she thinks - only what she feels and as a result what she can do to help. Otherwise she's history.

Big day Saturday! I feel pretty strong! They put me in thsi place - If they want me - I can just do it. The material is amazing and pertinent! My obligation is to that!

Thanks guys! little approving voices are new and so GREAT!

best,

Asher

_________________________
I do not know what signature means in 300 words. I am guessing some thoughts?

Great book that captures the truth of PTSD: The Sentimentalists by Skibsrud

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#35283 - 11/23/03 09:02 PM Re: First time doing something... afraid
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
ashr,

Sounds like it was going great. See you had the power all the time.

Any update? How'd it end up?

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#35284 - 11/24/03 09:22 AM Re: First time doing something... afraid
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
ASHR What can I say. You are making a difference to your inner self for the better and that says it all.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#35285 - 11/29/03 01:09 AM Re: First time doing something... afraid
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I think we become so accustomed to being afraid, and of thinking bad of ourselves, we do become afraid. Afraid of change, and afraid of success, maybe? Because we feel we do not deserve it. I hope that your job went well. I wish you good luck, always.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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