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#352245 - 01/28/11 06:27 PM Undue Empathy.
Hailzes Offline


Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 25
Loc: 161
I've been reading through a few posts in the US & World News forum and frankly I'm getting a bit fed up of people here assuming all these wrong uns have been victims of abuse themselves. So what if they are?
Bollocks mate.
If you are a victim of child abuse that is tragic and unforgivable and my heart pours for you, but if you then act out by going on to abuse another child, f**k you.
I myself was seriously sexually abused as a child; I'm sure (certain, in fact) that I have acted out as a result of this abuse, but NEVER in a million life times would I harm a child the way I was.
There is ALWAYS a thought before an action-whether you consciously notice it or not; that's just physiology. One thing doesn't simply LEAD to another. To put yourself in a situation where you are able to abuse a child is a complicated series of deliberate and thought out decisions and actions. If you abuse a child having been abused yourself then you possess NO soul let alone any capacity for empathy so wtf is up with people offering YOU any?


I am so proud of some people's here ability to look deeper into a set of circumstances, to understand even if they can't relate; it's intelligent and healing and I tip my hat to you, but others really need to get a grip. If what you need right now to recover is to believe there's a meaning behind everything then craic on, but sooner or later you're just going to have to accept a rock is sometimes just a rock.


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#352279 - 01/29/11 07:56 AM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: Hailzes]
expom Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 126
Loc: Australia
Hi Hailzes

I so agree with you. The American bureau of stats in the mid 90's did a survey of the perps in US jails and 52% said they had been abused as kids themselves - THAT IMPLIES THAT 48% WEREN'T.

A few months ago I sat next to a survivor buddy of mine in court as he faced the perp who violated him as a child. The perp's senior counsel stated "for the record" that he, too, had been the victim of sexual child abuse. I just couldn't help myself. I blurted out - loud enough for all in the court to hear - "Then he should know better!" The court bailiff raised an eyebrow in dissapproval; the counsel turned and scowled at me; the court guard didn't move except to smile and the judge - G_d bless her - scribbled something down and then quoted me in her summing up.

The perp got no undue empathy - he got three years. The judge got applause - we had been told to expect a suspended sentence.

ADen

_________________________
I endured all my yesterdays. I prevail in all of my todays. I exercise my right to be able to enjoy my tomorrows. I choose not to do it alone.

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#352302 - 01/29/11 12:53 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: expom]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Well done. You un-did empathy.

_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

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#352313 - 01/29/11 03:49 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: Still]
Hailzes Offline


Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 25
Loc: 161
@expom. Huge kudos from me for voicing something that appears to be frowned upon from most...your unwillingness to bite your tongue in the name of political correctness (or whatever the excuse is) brought 3 years of safety to that monster's community. Be proud of yourself.
@Robbie Brown. Receiving the distinct impression that your response is bathed in sarcasm. So be it. But as a survivor I will always be in your corner regardless of your personal feelings toward my opinions.


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#352320 - 01/29/11 05:18 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: Hailzes]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I have NO empathy for those who would lean on their past as an excuse for crime.

_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

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#352330 - 01/29/11 07:11 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: Still]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
I don't think that's how Robbie meant it, Hailzes. Correct me if I'm wrong, Robbie, but weren't you referring to the court scene expom described?


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#352332 - 01/29/11 08:17 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: expom]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Originally Posted By: expom

The perp got no undue empathy


I agree with this as I head to family court, and being blamed for being a victim.

But always remember, our courts are not courts of justice...they are "courts of law."

_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

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#352380 - 01/30/11 01:39 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: Still]
Hailzes Offline


Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 25
Loc: 161
I do apologise if I misinterpreted the tone of your response Robbie Brown; it's sometimes hard to gage in text smile


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#352384 - 01/30/11 02:19 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: Hailzes]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
No apology needed. "Judicial empathy" is (IMO) judicial forgiveness...at least in practice. The court, not being the victim, is in no way the one whom can be doing any forgiveness. Forgiveness is in the hands of God and the victim. Otherwise, we are all welcome to "feel badly" for the perp...but just don't let the TV or News Paper tell me we ought to feel badly. The nuclear explosion you hear will be my head.

_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

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#352550 - 02/01/11 03:55 PM Re: Undue Empathy. [Re: Still]
wayne9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 161
Loc: alabama
One question! Do you feel the same toward a victim who then does the same with a younger child when he himself is still a child. Can you really say that a 15 year old who was abused for years is guilty. Does he really comprehend what damage has been done to him or what damage he is doing?



Edited by wayne9 (02/01/11 03:58 PM)

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