If you were hit by a bus, you might feel blame if you disregarded general safety. But the difference is you didn't have the ability to know the impact that "participation" would have. As children, we do not have the cognitive capacity to gauge what we want and what we are made to believe we want or what is "normal".
Viewing a photograph of myself at the age of my abuse helped me realize the my participation was part of the grooming process. I look at those photos now and think...how could a child of that age possibly consent? It's the manipulation and grooming process that makes us believe that we participated willingly. Without the grooming process, it is highly unlikely that any child would "concent" to what was done to us. We just wouldn't have the knowledge or life experience to know fully what we were doing.
I struggled with this a lot! I felt that I participated through most of my abuse. For me, that is what made me feel so deviant. I felt so wrong. But it wasn't until I was older that I felt the real I felt the impact of the "participation". When we finally learn about what is "normal" that is when we start to blame ourselves.
I always knew that what I was doing was "wrong". But at the time I didnt know why. At the time...I was getting attention....I was learning things that I thought was a privilege to learn. I now know that what I was "learning" was not something my abusers were "teaching me" but they were using me for their pleasure.