Newest Members
journey4two, VASurvivor, jayceemac, rwolf, FindingNemo
12328 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Alicia (55), bubblytam (56), crazydragon (39), JGag78 (36), kris82 (32), Shin (28)
Who's Online
4 registered (SJC, susie, Obi, 1 invisible), 14 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12328 Members
74 Forums
63397 Topics
443266 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#352151 - 01/27/11 07:17 PM Hostage from the very beginning.
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
That's about right....A hostage from the very first day of life.
Like being thrown into a jail cell with a 15ft tall giant with the streght of a gorilla......The torment on a daily basis..felt like being stabbed...The conditioning...the daily abuse was like being drugged...forced into a state of fear..Then there's the seemily normal mother....who was allowing it to happen and leaving me vulnerable to his abuse...She seemed the victim...I felt so bad that I wasn't protecting her....She went to bingo every night and left me with that monster and I felt sorry for her.....the guilt I felt....And if I was to say anything about him she would be disgusted that I didn't respect my father....How can that not be abuse?


Top
#352206 - 01/28/11 02:53 PM Re: Hostage from the very beginning. [Re: RecoveryReady1]
redsox046 Offline


Registered: 09/06/10
Posts: 56
Loc: BOSTON
I can't not be abuse. Period. A lot of bystanders to abuse dont do anything to stop it, especially when its someone they love thats the abuser. They dont want to acknowledge that its happening just like we dissociated to avoid having to feel the pain and acknowledge it ourselves. The guilt you feel does not belong to you, it belongs to your mother for allowing you to be put through what you were. I know thats easy just to say but becoming angry at your mother for just standing by will help get rid of that guilt you feel and place the blame where it belongs....on her.


Top
#352216 - 01/28/11 03:31 PM Re: Hostage from the very beginning. [Re: redsox046]
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
Hear...Hear
I hear ya....thanks redsox


Top
#352225 - 01/28/11 04:48 PM Re: Hostage from the very beginning. [Re: RecoveryReady1]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
R




Top
#352228 - 01/28/11 04:59 PM Re: Hostage from the very beginning. [Re: Czaesar72]
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
Thanks...you too.


Top
#352229 - 01/28/11 05:03 PM Re: Hostage from the very beginning. [Re: RecoveryReady1]
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
I should be clear .....as some of you already know...not talking about the actual cas....when talking about my immediate family...the sexual abuse was an uncle when I was twelve.....
I am refering to emotionally sadistic behavior by my father...and threatening and violent behavior....


Top
#352263 - 01/28/11 11:04 PM Re: Hostage from the very beginning. [Re: RecoveryReady1]
healingheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 27
constant state of fear
I lived with that. thats all I ever knew in my family... that and the most complete loneliness I cant even describe, just being not loved...

I thought there was something wrong with me because I was afraid. And because I wasnt loved.

I hear your pain. I understand some of it because I can relate from my own past.

But it wasnt us. It was them.


Top
#352287 - 01/29/11 09:49 AM Re: Hostage from the very beginning. [Re: healingheart]
RecoveryReady1 Offline


Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 433
Yes..


Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.