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#352143 - 01/27/11 05:40 PM Grasping what happened....
nevragan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 907
Loc: NC
While I wait for quittin time here at work, I was thinking...again. My thoughts are what would it be like if I wasn't abused and had a normal childhood? Just thinking about that is kind of a shock to me that I was abused. I feel like some days I accept it and other days I don't quite grasp what happened to me. Maybe it's some form of denial to myself about what happened. It seems like days vary for me. The last week and half I've been in heavy memories till today. Today seems to be much better but it's like I'm in a fog about the abuse. It's like I can't believe it happened. Seems so distant and far off to me. Maybe my brain is pushing it away as a break from it for today? Not sure. Today my focus has been lacking at work also. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing. Kinda feel lost at the moment but going with the flow. Hope some of this made sense. Just had to put that down in words for now.

Andy


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#352146 - 01/27/11 06:46 PM Re: Grasping what happened.... [Re: nevragan]
redsox046 Offline


Registered: 09/06/10
Posts: 56
Loc: BOSTON
I know how you feel man. I used to think about what could have been all the time, but you just have to think about what is going to be once you recover and that will help motivate you. As far as some days you accept it and others it seems so far away and almost completely unreal i also can relate. Your still in a state of shock after a traumatic event and accepting it can be difficult. What i've found is that you cant really think my way out of this mess, you have to feel your way out. Once you get in touch with your anger and your pain and sadness it will start to seem more real. You can do it man, and we all got your back.
God Bless,
Nick
"No retreat, No surrender"


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#352185 - 01/28/11 10:12 AM Re: Grasping what happened.... [Re: redsox046]
traillius Offline


Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 260
This sounds like a lot of survivors. I have come to the point where I've accepted that I cannot change what happened, so that I no longer concern myself much with how things could have been. Although painful, sad, and evil, its an irrevocable part of my history. Still, envy is part of humanity. I guess its a little saddening that others had 'better' childhoods, but this can't be helped. The way I choose to deal with it is to make my life each day a little better, and hopefully help someone else.
(((((( andy )))))


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