well, once again i've been proven that my presence here is only for others. it's not for me.

during the timeframe of 8:00pm t0 8:30 pm central time i was in chat.

it was asked if there was a topic. anyone want to say anything.

i post that apparently a couple of guys wanted to throw me an online party here on ms friday night to try and make my birthday special since it's been already horrid and painful...

and once again it looks like i got completely ignored by 15 people in chat at the time. not a single word was uttered. no form of acknowledgment at all...

thanks for the support guys... oh, that's right, there wasn't any at all...

well, i'll just go.. no need to worry about any party. don't know when i'll be back, if ever.

I'd rather you stay, Todd. I've watched you fill the cup of others, and wish your cup would be filled in return.

Andy

2nd that - I hope you choose to stay.

It sounds like you're feeling really sensitive and felt rejected when the room didn't respond to you. You took it personally when there wasn't a response.

You've been helpful for me in chat and with your presence online.

I hope that you choose to stick around.

D

Hey Obi....i hope you stay too. You're a great guy and an inspiration to many...

Forrest

__________

Todd,

I hate that you felt ignored in chat last night with this announcement. It is an easy sting to feel and I think all have felt it at one time or another when his comment got washed along with other conversations. I was there last night and involved in PMs and had very little interaction with the chat due to that fact.

I try to chalk it up to guys being in PMs, otherwise occupied or they just missed my comments.

Things like this can be very triggering for some. I can understand that.

Birthdays are like holidays - they can easily trip us up. It is why I prefer to skip it and not have to worry about disappointments.

I hope today is a much better day for you.


Daryl

Obi-one bro. hope you stay around.
me

andy,

i wished it would be filled too but apparently that's not happening yet again... yes, i said again because this isn't the first, second, third, fourth or even fifth time this has happened... would be nice to at least receive some acknowledgement... isn't that what we all want/need? to be heard? to be acknowleged?

magellan,

you're welcome for whatever help i've provided you.
yes, i took it personally because i need support too.
many people here know how hard this time of year is for me and how it got ruined again... a little support would've been helpful.
the question was asked in chat.. is there any topic. anything anyone wants to share... i shared and not anything in return.. yet, other things were being discussed after i shared... not everyone was talking exclusively in pm's...

forrest,

thanks for the compliment... however it seems like that's all i am anymore... just a sounding board, phsychologist or whatever...

nevermind that i have issues too and need support too...

tommy,

thanks... not sure if i will be... right now i feel like i've been used... just take what people need from me and leave me dangling in the wind... i know, dramatic... however, that's what it feels like to me....

daryl,

thanks... however, i refer you to my response to magellan...

the question was raised... couple of guys were looking for something to discuss in chat.. i thought it would be an opportunity to share some of what's going on, some of my pain, and to hopefully look positively at my upcoming birthday instead of dreading it....

yup..... NOTHING......

not everyone was talking exclusively in pm's...

i'm sorry but this is really starting to piss me off....


i give and give and give and give... i give to help as many as possible even though i'm hurting too...

HEY FOLKS! GUESS WHAT?! I HAVE F***ING ISSUES TOO!!!!

I NEED SUPPORT TOO!!!!
i don't even know why i expected different... i hardly ever got support growing up. was pretty much ignored... it's still the same..

Obi,

For what its worth, I'm kind of one of your lurkers. PM me if you need something.

I was in chat at that time and I didnt respond. I appologize. I truly hope you dont leave MS. Since I got here a few weeks ago, you have been extreemly supportive and I thank you.

If you need to talk, I want to listen.

I hope you reconsider. I value you greatly.

j