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#363354 - 05/31/11 05:35 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: Castle]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brothers,

This is my 4Th post on this subject. A very important one for me, as i quite often go way back into myself and I make myself that victim all over again.

With all the compassion, understanding & love from my fraternal brothers here, it proves to me that I am indeed a worth while human being.

I am fortunate enough to be sharing a home with another CSA brother. I have immediate help when i'm down on myself. I might even muster a few tears. When he is finished listening to me, we exchange safe hugs and once again I feel that it does get better.

Yesterday (Memorial day) my brother here Obi & I travelled to Tulsa, Oklahoma. We were to meet up with another fraternal brother of mine, Andy (formerTexan) from a WoR back in '09. And we were going to also meet a new fraternal brother of ours ren42. We met at a restaurant & enjoyed each others company in brotherhood.
Great, brotherhood, friendship & food. But for me it was another stepping stone out of my shyness & self imposed loneliness.
Once again, after all my setbacks (mostly self imposed) I have come to realise once again, that it truly.....................

Does Get Better. All I have to do is let it happen.

Heal well, my fraternal brothers, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#363449 - 06/02/11 08:50 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: petercorbett]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
It means a lot to me when people comment, PM or post to my rants....so thanks very much Daniel, Castle and MOOSE.

It's really not easy yet some days, I admit it. The men here who know me best know I am just as vulnerable to the slightest disruption in life as any of us are. When things line up perfectly, I know I am spot on. One off look from one of the kids and I feel the CSA shouting in my ear what a tool I am.

Just since writing this earlier this week I slowly and carefully was able to talk through the issue of Pot use with the older 2 kids. Could have been a true Cluster Fluck of epic proportions.

Straight bottom line is Alex gave me input and Castle gave me balance and I listened. The advice was good......actually far better than good. It went well.

Life is going to happen to us everyday and just like you I have to cope.

But honest to God it has gotten so much better because men here have reached out to give me support, and also let me give it back in kind.

It hurts when I remember why we all are here. It hurts me more to see someone here in pain than to consider my own wounds....but it gets better when you hear so many people talk about the true friendships they have formed in recovery. I know I am very thankful for the ones I have.

Yeah...it bumps, it stings, it can hurt like hell. It also can heal and it does get better.


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#363865 - 06/08/11 03:23 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I was standing there Monday as Springsteen says "in the part of town where when you hit a red light you don't stop", looking at the heap my car just turned in to. While I was waiting on the NYPD I was feeling all the abuse angst boil up in me. Then I started focusing on this was where I choose to work, and how nice people were treating me. And if you never spoke to an NYPD cop you have no idea how really cool these men and women are. Then I remembered it's just a car, it's nothing I love, I can replace it, no one is hurt, let it go.

Well that's all true but man nothing sucks like a wrecked car!

So yeah, bad times come and go and they will no matter if you lead a gifted life or if you were abused. We still need to deal either way and let it get better.

So right now I'm P-Oed still but I will let it slide. At home and MS my crew reminded me what counts, and it sure is not that car.

This week Cops, strangers, co-workers, MS Buds, family, T's & friends all reminded me it does get better.....must be true, huh!


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#363872 - 06/08/11 05:36 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1388
Loc: California
I can attest to this. IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER.

I've had a very miraculous recovery in my life.

I'm not afraid of people anymore.

I'm free to be me. FREE!!!!

THANK YOU! EVERYONE of you. THANK YOU for your COURAGE to share what is in your heart and mind. For in your sharing, you help lift me out of my hell.

D

_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#364103 - 06/13/11 04:00 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: Magellan]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808

A few nights back a member here I respect a lot said to me that he felt many of us lived without knowing real love and we spend our whole loves looking for it.

I don't know. I don't think I can agree on that one.

I do know I believe that love heals. I do believe love can end the isolation and lack of trust many of feel. I do know I believe that opening ourselves up to falling in love and being in love is something we do late into recovery. But I also believe we can love and be loved as anyone else can.

Maybe we are more cautious about our emotions. Maybe we fall in love less often than others. But I just don't believe our capacity to love is diminished due to ASA or CSA.

I think love does make it get better. I think the love of 2 is twice as healing as the strength of 1.

I also know there are many kinds of love. Look around here and you will see many men in love with spouses and partners. You see many men here falling in love with girlfriends and boyfriends. Ask and I can tell you stories of men here saved by the love of a best friend. Look around and you see men here express fraternal or paternal love for a fellow survivor who has lifted them up, inspired them, & helped them.

This week is Father's Day. For some it may be a tough day. I have such empathy for those hurt by a family member. But we are also a group full of really good Dad's who know first hand what love means.

We all can love and be loved, and that so does make it better.


_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#364128 - 06/13/11 10:18 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
mrwhiskers Offline


Registered: 02/22/04
Posts: 193
smile

_________________________
"Dont be scared... angels r here" Maria Fernanda (Mafer)

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#364735 - 06/22/11 07:50 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: mrwhiskers]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Sometimes letting it get better ain't easy. We know that.

Hey triggers come and go, they hurt and with the right support they dissipate.

Last week was a mix of some really good stuff like Father's Day, a great HS graduation party and ceremony.

It was also filled with work stress, too many people I don't want around me during recovery, a reminder of some recent pain, and being reminded of one key aspect of my abuse.

Shit happens I suppose. I won't lie & say it does not hurt right now. But I'm trying to use the tools I have to keep myself centered best I can and deal.

I'm not backing off my belief it does get better. It will get better.

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#364757 - 06/22/11 03:44 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 724
Loc: NJ
Proud to know you, friend... Takes a lot of courage and stregnth to go through a bad week and still post positive shit....keep at it yo...it does get better.

_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#365211 - 06/30/11 05:21 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: Castle]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Hey.....who said life was going to be easy anyway? Gets better though, huh.

Getting lots of support from good friends I made here at MS as I deal with way too much work stress. The people we trust here are really the best kinds of friends I realize. Man it's nice to see the red flag flashing at times, right? Makes you know some one has your back and cares.

Watching guys here fall in love and realize life can be sweet.

Watching a guy I helped here way back when he was a newbie really help a newbie now. Pay it Forward! Man I'm proud to see that.

Gets better.....

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#365395 - 07/03/11 11:46 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: Magellan]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Wow, I just love reading these posts.


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