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#353631 - 02/14/11 11:12 AM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: westchesterguy]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 732
Loc: United States
I'll respond at greater length when I have time, but this leapt out at me...

Originally Posted By: westchesterguy
i've been waiting 30 years for the gay movement to take up a cause other than one specifically serving their agenda a.) AIDS, b.) equal rights at work and in military, c.) marriage.

So... stop waiting for others to act on what you care about and do it yourself.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#353632 - 02/14/11 11:15 AM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
reguardless of someone afiliations with churches, therapists take are suppossed to help everyone and if they feel they cannot not help someone for any reason should not see them. That said, if he goes to a WoR he will see gay men, and I figure he will help them because that is why he is there.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#353636 - 02/14/11 11:33 AM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Thanks efm. Here's a story .

When I came to this city, I started a football team and made one very good friend. He became like my best friend and helped me organize the team. We spent a lot of time hanging out, and I had the privilege of spending some time with his wife and 4 children- an amazing man. We became close and trusted one another.

He is an LDS guy, a tolerant breed of Mormon whose brother is gay. We had many a discussion about it, how he struggled to love his bro and realized some important lessons. He said he loves gay people, but that we are all sinners and that homosexual acts are sinful. We agreed to disagree on that, and maintained a good friendship.

We were also playing tackle football on our team together, which as you might expect is very intense.

At the semi-final of our third season as teammates and friends, we won an important game which would launch us to the final game. My friend was so elated after that game. As our team was celebrating on the field, he came up to me and gave me a HUGE hug. I was totally shocked, because my friend is not touchy feely, and had never hugged me (although he did slap my ass a fair bit, but that's normal in football). I was a bit surprised, but decided to let him hug me...

then, he leaned into my face to kiss me.

My neck and head tensed up - I was like, WTF - and we ended up bumping noses.

Then he said, "woah woah, don't get excited now"

After that moment, he became very awkward and we entered a kind of radio silence. We lost our championship game and he never spoke to me after that.

We ended up having a huge confrontation on Facebook where it all came out that he was blaming me for kissing him. Once again, my truth was twisted against me. I was willing to laugh the whole thing off as an awkward moment and agree to disagree on who initiated it.

But he was really bothered and made a huge point of calling me a liar and an enemy and telling the whole team how I had betrayed him.

Shortly thereafter I began working on my CSA and left the team to take care of myself.

So in my experience everyone has issues, and just because Lee has a Ph.D and has done work on his religious beliefs and sexuality does not necessarily qualify him to hold me in a sacred way.

Does that make sense?

Thanks for your feedback. It helped.


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#353641 - 02/14/11 11:51 AM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: risingagain]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I did not realize Aids was only a gay thing, and eventhough it is not why would not a population who had a large amt of people with an illness want to help stop that illness.

Also did not realize we should all not want equal rights.
And I think we should all be able to marry anyone we want.

I consider Ken my Husband, Virginia does not but who cares.
Today is Valentine's Day and I am going out to eat with him
I really think people cause more heart ache and problems over things they do not understand. Love is love is love.

I would rather love than hate.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#353645 - 02/14/11 12:52 PM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: Ever-fixed Mark
...
So... stop waiting for others to act on what you care about and do it yourself.
-efm


nope did that already. time for something new.

i don't care whether the so called gay community acts, reacts, or ignores any cause to serve just itself. i only say - count me out of that community until it changes its tune collectively speaking.

my solo battle in life was working with this movement - the male sexual abuse movement -- to raise awareness and to educate parents on how to protect their sons. and how to move forward with their sons should he be victimized. furthermore i wrote about it extensively over the past 20 years.

i also know my limits when carrying a torch on social cause. until i do get to a financially stable place again the focus must only be on a battle to survive. and once (and or if) i reach that stable place, i don't know yet what cause i'll take up next. but it won't likely be one centered around "gay" issues. maybe learning disabilities or helping middle-aged male victims of corporate layoff. those topics touch all men, gay and straight.



_________________________
Jeff

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#353744 - 02/15/11 12:57 PM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: westchesterguy]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
the things that i am passionate about -- the issues that touch me personally, are the best areas for me to be of service to others.

gay people should be commended for the service they have done for the world. in case it's not obvious, we have helped to make it clear what love really is- that it's not a physical thing- it's a spiritual thing. that we have shown the world resilience and taught you about parenting, about bullying, about the flexibility of gender expression, about both male and female oppression, about the beauty of love, about acceptance, non-judgement, and also about resilience in the face of adversity. so many lessons.

if all you see is a bunch of faggots cavorting at bars, you've got your eyes closed brother.


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#353747 - 02/15/11 01:16 PM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: risingagain]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada

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#353748 - 02/15/11 01:29 PM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: risingagain]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: risingagain
.....if all you see is a bunch of faggots cavorting at bars, you've got your eyes closed brother.


interesting that you typed that. so, it is the responsibility of non-gays to go out of their way.... and open their eyes and come to embrace something they know nothing about?

what about gays, like myself, who do not embrace the gay agenda in the first place? (true, doubt we matter to other gays even though there are more of us around than people realize.)

nonetheless, by this line of reasoning, let's apply it to male survivors. forever more -- that door we've come to know these past 30 years is closed. people must actively seek us out so that they may come to understand male sexual abuse.

is that appropriate?

shall the general population just apply that "bar scene" to victims of sexual abuse as well? thus they come to understand there is no further depth to survivors... after all "men obviously 'wanted it' or why would they have been with an older man in the first place?"

cannot have it both ways in my view.

male survivors must speak to "open those eyes" outside of our circles, just as gays must mingle with the masses and open those eyes that "gays = peds" is a myth, among other things.

forcing change through legislation and screaming and name calling does not bring an understanding. it brings chaos and requires damage control. problem not solved.

_________________________
Jeff

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#353749 - 02/15/11 01:38 PM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: westchesterguy]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
i agree with you that screaming and name calling does not solve our problems.

but i understand why gays don't mingle with the masses. for example, i started a tackle football team and was the only openly gay guy on it. i dealt with the daily crap some guys threw out, even heard the coach say cocksucker once... it's ingrained homophobia ... i went to a conservative church for their mass and found it inspiring despite the obvious anti-gay beliefs...

but i don't hold my gay brothers to join me ... i am perhaps unconventional and a fucking fighter.... perhaps i enjoy the abuse... why should any person put themselves in an environment which is negative? it was not encumbent upon black people to go and hang out in white spaces during apartheid... although integration is the eventual goal, for a lot of people their environment is too hostile to make that worthwhile.

why should i go and tell some straight guy at a bar about my love life? hell, i went to the titty bar with my football buds last summer, and danced with some of the girls...

what's this gay agenda you're referring to? that we want to be treated with respect?


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#353750 - 02/15/11 01:40 PM Re: Fairness in Housing = Pedophile Hunting Grounds [Re: risingagain]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 597
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
ps the video i posted contains wonderful footage of the 'gay agenda' making a difference


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