The shadow of what could have been is just to unbearable to see. But it invades me like a sword aimed at the total me. It should have been but cannot. Am I to meet my maker as a broken thing who was not worthy of redemption? I honestly do not know?
I do know. They tried to break you. They failed. They tried to recruit you to join in the destruction of Mike Church, and for a time they seemed to succeed. But ultimately they failed.
You are not broken. You are a man, in the finest sense that word could ever carry. Your work here with other survivors, your lobbying work for just laws, your powerful comforting presence in the lives of so many all attest to your greatness.
When I look areound me at MSORG I see so many shadows that they overlap and are like an evil cloak that clouds are thinking and our relationships; in fact everything about us. And we struggle and rage and pursue that which we do not have and for that I am thankful. Because of the total I can have faith and a sense that the shadow of what can be will come true for us all.
It will be true because there are so many lights like you. The shadows cannot band together but we do. They cannot die, but they will not rule. The shadows have no substance, no depth, not even an existence when subjected to the light. You, personally, have helped shine a healing light on so many shadows that by yourself you are a gift to those who suffer beneath the shadows.
I will try and send all these shadows where I am trying to put my SA; in that garbage dump labelled "No Longer Required". Can I do it? I do not know. And that my brothers is the absolutely WORST SHADOW OF ALL
In time you will do it. We can and will help you against your shadows, as you help us against our own. Remember the sig line from James:
And let the darkness fear our light.
Each of us is a candle, and when we come together we illuminate a great safe space. None of our shadows can rest there.
Shine on, Mikey, and we'll shine with you.