Should I be glad for you? You found or was told about this site. And letting out the things that are of most important to you or that is bothering you. I am,
but not that the things that happen, we all can live with out.
My brothers and sisters and I lived with neglect, with out parenting of soical accepted roles. I was free to do as any child would like, as in Mark Twains,"Huck Berry on the Mississippi River."
But I lived a high risk life of being abused by others, older, bigger, stronger, smarter and the like.
I was feeling depressed because I thought that I was or felt alone.
I was feeling all by my self.
I was feeling used.
Why do I have to do the things,
that I don't want to do?
(with a carpet vaccum cleaner in hand)
drinking to forget
drinking to fit in
drinking is a depressant also
Today I'm not as depressed about things,
thanks to alot of other changes I made
even if the stuff that happen never changes
I do not feel betrayed today, it toke time for me to out grow.
I do not feel insecure today, I have work hard to have the things that I have today.
I am still working on my anger, sometimes I react in anger, or find I am angry at myself.
It is not better to just forget the past.
Downplay our past,
We are prey to the repetition compulsion.
For our own good,
claim our painful
reactions to our past
The more we idealize the past,
and refuse to
The more we pass
them on unconsciously
to the next generation.
(Classic Scriptography Product)
I have accepted that I did not get to choose
who I wanted to have sex with.
I was at a immature, not fully grown, in the natural stage of growth to have sex.
My adolescent difficulties physical and emotional maturation level, seduced or propled into illicit sexual acts, of not my choosing, but did happen, with both sex's.
And when I was of aged, of mature, or advance enuff to produce semen.
I was already on a progressively,
and improperly, incestuous desire to
perpetuate sex for gain,
rather than affection.
I had help, maybe you will continue to seek
help, LOVE ,fmighell Anc Ak