didn't really know where to post this.

But on Saturday while I was on call for the RCC here in town. I was talking to a survivor, a man, he said I really do get him. I understand completely what he was feeling and going through.

It got me to thinking after and this is what I came up with. You do not have to agree with me. I'm not passing judgment on anyone so please don't judge me. I just wanted to put it out there and maybe it will help someone else. It helped the man I was talking to.

When you are going through the abuse you are a victim.

Then there is the re-victimization:
Some cannot get past the victim. The live in it and continue to do things to re-victimize them self. They don't realize they do it. They cannot help it. They do this in part because when they were a victim all their power was taken from them. They have not learned to take it back. It's a slow, long, hard process but it can be done.

When you live beyond the abuse you are a survivor.

What one are you?

Everyday I see so many people who are in the re-victimization and I want to so badly help them. I cannot help them. Only they can help them self. They have to make a concusses effort to make it different. They want to move on and will do what ever it takes to move on. Many try and fall back but if you keep trying, you'll get there. I did! I made that effort to go on in spite of what THEY did to me. What THEY say about me. How THEY feel about me. I do it because I'm more than what THEY say I am. I am worth it.


YOU are worth it also!

That's a solid slab of prime roast to chew on. No frills, just meat. This is worthy of some thought.
Thanks for posting it, Keane.

Well, I would say that when I drink they way I have done for a long time, or engage in other addictions, that I am re-victimizing myself. I might be temporarily escaping some of the pain, but really I am just reinforcing it. But I am starting to see there are other ways. Changes are happening. Sometimes I slip, but I notice it quicker and get back on track. It does seem a better way to be.

I can relate to your post. It is really hard to broke old patterns.
I realized that I don't want to involve any discussions
My mum was questioning me recently why I wasn't try to haggle over the price. I prefer to reach an agreement, taking a short cut, escaping from fight out an argument. Old paths not easy to change.
Triggers:
My cousins who are 5 year older than me, raped me when I was 5 years old. I did want to play game with them, they had never accepted me as a part of their group.
Now, when a group or a person show companionship, I hesitate to join them. Actually I just stay away. Probably I don't trust them. I was alone as a child, that go on in high school. I still prefer my privacy. Is this re-victimization?
Sorry for the rant. And thanks for the chance to vent.

i have to agree with you Keane. i was re-victimizating myself till one day i just got past it. it took me four years after i told to finaly become a servivor. and ive been a servivor for two years now.